I'm already there
by Katiemae422
Summary: I look in his eyes and realize that things hadn't just suddenly changed.He's felt this way all along.I let the wall I buit around myself crumble and kiss him.I realize we aren't JUST friends.He isn't just Seth.He's MY Seth. Rated T just incase.
1. We aren't a 'couple', are we?

**A/N: Heyy, sry I just started this before finishing my other stories, but it was just knawing and clawing at the inside of my head just _begging_ to be let loose and once my fingers hit the keys... well I just couldn't keep it to myself. I really hope you enjoy. And if you do (heck even if u DON'T) I would love to see some reviews. REVIEWS KEEP A STORY ALIVE!! U wouldn't want to kill a brand new story would you? No, of coarse not, I didn't think so. So pleace review!**

**Oh, almost forgot "I do not 'own' twilight including it's characters SETH, Jake, Leah, Sam..." you get the point. With that said, Let's move on shall we? This story takes place post-breaking dawn. Still in forks/ Lapush. About two years after everything to be exact. The story is in the POV (point of view) of a 17 year old werewolf named "Kait" who is in Sam's pack. This is the life of a 17 year old werewolf with a step dad, a mom who doesn't understand her daughters strange behavior (even after 14 years of werewolfism Kaitlyn's mom still doesn't know) and her friendship with the blonde shaggy wolf with the tempting eyes and blinding smile.**

**Please enjoy- and remember REVIEW, please it only takes a second I SWEAR!!!**

We are friends. Only friends. Nothing romantic. Right?

I roll my eyes, but I'm careful not to laugh. I would have covered my mouth to make _sure _a sound didn't escape but I was focusing on not dropping my books and bag as I struggle to get into the car. Once safely inside I take a deep breath to assure the laughs don't escape.

I mean, _Everybody's going to go to heaven! We'll see everyone we love and we won't be hungry and everyone will be happy…_ What isn't humorous about that? My youngest sibling, at two, is probably to happiest person in the world. Not that I'm all doom and gloom, usually it takes at least a few good pushes to even get a rise out of me… but _everybody_? That's just unrealistic.

But I don't laugh, because I kind of _have_ to believe he's right. You see my father passed away, and I have to believe no matter what sins you have you can still make it to those pearly gates. Suicide. That's the sin- well not really. That's what the papers just said. No, I'm not in denial. I'm serious. It wasn't suicide, it was _sacrifice_. He killed his self so that _I _wouldn't become what he was. But it was too late anyway. He still passed down the genes that had made him what he was. A wolf. A hunter. You get the point. "Werewolf." That's the word _you'd_ use.

So you see, I _have_ to believe that he went to a better place. Because if he didn't I surly wont. But I already know _I'm _not going to heaven. But that's also why I can't laugh. Mom doesn't even know why dad did what he did. She doesn't know what I am. She would die if she knew I even had the thought that I'm not going to heaven.

"Yes, of coarse Royce." She tells the small boy and he smiles.

_Yes Royce. You, me, dad, and Hitler. We're ALL going to live happily in heaven where you can frolic in the flowers, Hitler has an endless supply of Jews and me and dad can eat all the vampires we want! _Great, I'm comparing myself to Hitler. This can't be good for my dwindling self-esteem. I already hate myself of reveling in the feeling of the change. I hate myself when I kill people- vampires- people whatever you want to call them. And I especially hate myself for loving what I am. I hate what I love and I love what I hate. What an awful web I've wove.

"Is God invisible?" My younger sister, Annabel, asks my mother.

_If there was this all powerful man you speak of, why would he condone souls like myself to this life I live?_

"Yes honey, he is every where, and he's always watching you."

_I'm the sunshine in your hair. I'm the shadow on the ground. I'm the whisper in the wind. I'm your imaginary friend. _I think the lyrics to "I'm already there" by Lonestar. Ya, there's a God. An imaginary force that bounds me to this God Da-

"_To be hurt. To feel lost. To be left out in the dark…_" My phone rings.

Mom shakes her head, "I wish you wouldn't listen to such 'emo' songs."

I roll my eyes, "Maybe I _am _'emo', mom." I counter as I fish my phone out of my pocket. I pull my sleeves down just to freak her out.

She grabs my arm and throws the sleeve up and stares at my pale arm with…(big surprise!) nothing on it. The only thing covering my arm is one long scare I acquired as a kid from a 'dog bite'. At least that's what I told mom. Really I got in a fight with another wolf. Less she knows the better, I always say.

"Find what your looking for?" I ask her.

"_To be kicked when your down. To feel like you've been pushed around…_"

"It isn't funny. Kids die from that kind of stuff."

Me dying? That's a good one, mom! I laugh inside my head but just smirk at her on the outside.

"Not emo mom. Just like the song." I tell her.

"_To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you…_"

"Hey?" I say into the phone, without looking at the caller ID first.

"_IT'S A PARTY IN THE U.S.A!_"

"Umm… hello?"

"OmyGod! Sorry, I didn't think you would answer and-"

"There is _never _an excuse for singing _her_ music into _my_ phone." I say only half joking. "What do you want Seth?" We reach the drive way and I grab my bags and jump out so I can talk without worrying about mom hearing.

"What's wrong with you?" Seth asks me in a concerned tone.

_Keep it buried. Deep down, where nothing ever goes wrong, where no light penetrates. Leave it to boil__and simmer, adding to it constantly. And then one day when it cannot be controlled any longer… _I chant inside my head.

"What _isn't_ wrong? I'm a teenage werewolf, who's mother doesn't understand her, her siblings think _'everyone goes to heaven where the sun smiles and we all wear gold shoes and ride shot gun with God…'_ and Sam's got me running patrol like there's no freakin' tomorrow." I take a deep breath.

"I told you, you should join our pack. Jake doesn't _force _us to do anything and you don't have to put up with all Sam's crap, and I _miss_ you." Seth whines into the phone.

"I've been thinking about it but I don't know _how_ to. And Jake isn't a big fan of even having a pack. I'd hate to impose and ruin his life too…" I trail off, caught in my own thought. The thought of spending all that time with Seth is just about too tempting.

"Jake thinks of you like a little sister. He _adores_ you. He'd be glade to have you in the pack!" He pauses and I can hear the grin in his voice, "You can't be any worse than Leah, you know?"

I laugh at that and hold the phone closer to my ear relishing in his sweet, calming, mature, innocent, sexy voice. "Hey, she isn't that bad." I counter in a playful tone.

"Oh ya, I forgot you two are friends." He laughs quietly, "I really miss you though. I haven't seen you in like… a week?" He whines again.

I shiver and goose bumps cover my neck, arms, and legs. "I know, I miss you too, Seth. But I don't know if I can just _leave_ the pack."

"Well can I at least come over?" He pleads.

I smile, "Maybe, hold one sec, I'll ask mom."

"Cool."

I hold the phone to my shoulder and can hear him humming my ring tone quietly. I laugh at how cute he is and open the door from the back porch and walk inside. I walk over to the kitchen and find mom bent over some sort of dough. I pull off a piece and stuff it into my mouth before she can say anything. She rolls her eyes, "Hey, mom?" I ask sweetly.

"Yes, hon?"

"Can Seth come over for a bit?"

"And how long is a 'bit', Kaitlyn?" She counters putting her hands on her hips.

"Well… there is a House marathon on tonight so… until tomorrow?"

"You're asking me if Seth can spend the night?" She crosses her arms.

"Yes." I say not shaken the least bit by her words.

"I guess so, you'd probably just sneak him in once I went to sleep anyway." She goes back to rolling the dough.

I already knew she'd say yes. She just adores Seth. He is really good with parents. That came out wrong. That's what you say about a boyfriend who is good with your parents. We aren't a 'couple'. He doesn't even like me like that.

"_I really miss you._" His words run through my head.

"_His sweet, calm, mature, innocent, SEXY voice…_" Do I like _him_? Surly not. You can't _like_ your best friend. Can you?

"Hey there beautiful." Seth says as he walks through the porch door. We've know each other since forever, no need to knock when your basically family, right?

_Hey there beautiful._ He's just kidding right? I mean nothings changed in the past years. I mean I turned seventeen yesterday, but nothings changed.

"Hey, Seth!" I say and give him a hug. "And by the way, I saw you at school the other day. It hasn't been 'a week'." I laugh and pull away from him.

His eyes still linger on me with adoration. "It feels like it's been a week." He says and sticks his hand out. I look at it for a moment before engaging in our secret hand shake. "So, you gonna join the pack?" He asks and laces his fingers into mine.

My breath hitches and he chuckles softly, "I think," I start slowly, playing with his hand, "that being in Sam's pack sucks, and that we don't spend enough time together." He smiles at me and I feel my lips pull up at the corners, "But also," He grin turns to a lopsided smile, "that just leaving the pack isn't a good idea."

"Why not?" He ask taking my other hand so had he is holding both.

"Well, first off Collin and Brady need a babysitter." I think of the first excuse that pops into my head.

"They're older than you. Why do you have to baby-sit them?" He is whining again.

"Have you _met_ Collin and Brady?" I ask and my smile widens as he laughs.

"It's nor fair. Why do they get to have all of you?" He still hasn't dropped my hands and our hand shake has been long over. I don't mine though.

"What? Would you rather have me all to _your _self?" I ask in a playful tone.

He blushes a deep red. His tan white skin turns every shade, and I resist the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek. He is a lot like a miniature Jake, but he is paler, blue eyed, and blonde, ad sweeter than anyone I know. "I would like _that_ very very _very_ much." He chuckles softly.

Mom walks onto the back porch and I drop my hand from Seth's. I don't think she'd approve of him staying the night if she saw that. But it was just friendly, right? "Hello Seth. Cookies are in the oven Kaitlyn. Would you please take them out in about twenty minutes? I'm going to bed." She turns back to the door, but stops. "Have a good evening you two." She throws over her shoulder and retreats to bed.

"Told you she doesn't understand." I whisper in Seth's ear and he turns toward me. Our faces are so close I can smell the scent of him rolling off his skin. I look down at his lips, so plump, so _close_. "You want to go for a run?" I blurt out and back away from him. I don't know why, but I just can't admit to feeling for him quite yet. Because I don't, right? We're only friends. Nothings changed. It's not like just because I'm older he suddenly feels _romantic_ feelings toward me, right? I mean that isn't possible, is it? You can just suddenly feel a new way about someone, can you? You can't just be like a big brother and then suddenly the hottest, most sexy, most beautiful…

Seth is in front of me again and I can smell him every where. I close my eyes and my forehead falls against his. "_Seth_…" I breath. I see him bite his lip but he doesn't rush anything. Because this is nothing, right? I pull away and take a deep breath, but I can taste his scent in the air. I do they only thing I can do to avoid his loving eyes, and my emotions. I phase and run into the woods. I'm not exactly "a relationship person". And we are defiantly _not_ in _that_ kind of _relationship_… are we? Of coarse not… right?

**Don't forget, that little box right below the story, ya that one, click it please and just write a little something. U know telling me if i should continue or just start collecting cat's cause it sucks and I have NO FUTURE. Please, really it only take a moment!**

**Thanks for reading, hope u enjoyed!!! I know I enjoyed writing it!**


	2. 3 words could've changed things

**I know it's short, but I really wanted to get this posted before tomorrow, I had made a promise to some of u and I intend to keep it! Okay so this chapter is a lot differant than then the first one. I hope u enjoy, I will try and write some more tomorrow. Remember: REVIEWS KEEP STORIES ALIVE, DON'T ME A MURDERER!!!**

_Three Words Could Have Made a Difference_

Running off into the woods has kind of become a habit of mine, I notice. Whenever things get ruff I make a b-line for the tree line. It's a very bad habit, I'm noticing now. When I'm pissed at my mom it isn't so bad. When I'm running into the woods and _away _from Seth, it is so bad. I forgot that I don't always get to be alone when I'm a wolf.

_K-K-Kaitlyn! _A sing-song voice says in my head.

_Not now Embry. _Think back a him and try running faster.

_Fine. I was leaving anyway. Oh and by the way, I'd avoid Paul if I was you._

_What? Why do I need to avoid Paul? _I slow a little.

_Oh, I guess you haven't heard. _He starts and I slow even more.

_Last time I was a wolf, I was running patrol _alone. _I haven't heard anything._

_Oh, well Rachel started talking to this dude who she went to college with, and then the guy- Kevin, I think- started flirting. _I am completely still now. _Paul got mad and beat him up. Rachel got mad and left. Turns out she had been seeing Kevin for a while and was "in love with him" and got really pissed when Paul sent him to the hospital._

_Poor Paul. He imprinted on her, that's got to be _killing_ him. _I say and actually feel bad for the jerk.

_Strange enough, Paul isn't as torn up as he should be. Actually he is doing pretty well. Maybe he really hadn't imprinted… or maybe it's the fact he's hanging out with this new chick._

_That's impossible. _I tell him.

_Maybe, but who cares? _

Then everything is silent in my head. He must have phased.

Gosh, that was RANDOM! Soooo, very random. God.

_thdump, thdump, thdump. _I hear the steady beat of paws hitting the wet ground behind me. But my head is still silent, must be Seth. I could out run him, I'm almost as fast as fast as Leah, if not faster, but I don't move. I try and get my feet to move but my legs turn to jelly and I fall to my knees. I lay my head on my paws, knowing if I try to stand I'll only succeed in getting my coat all muddy. _Thdump…thdump…thdump. _He's only a hundred yards or so away now, and his place is slowing.

"Why'd you run off like that?" He can't think to me so he barks. He sounds hurt.

"Give me a second." I bark back and go behind a tree to change. I had ripped my cloths when I ran off into the woods, but I always keep a pair of shorts and a shirt hidden in various places in the woods. I had started doing this, when I first started facing, over ten years ago. I still hide cloths in the woods every now and then, just incase there is an incident… like today. I pull a pair and shorts and a shirt on and walk back to Seth, who has also phased.

"Why did you run off like that?" He asks as he walks over to me.

"I- I- I just- Why was your face so close to mine?" I ask him suddenly.

"What?" He looks confused.

"Why were your lips so close to mine?" I ask him. I look at his lips- God, he has gorgeous lips!

"Umm… well…" He stammers and blushes a deep red, "I asked you first." He blurts out.

"Because I was confused!" I yell and several birds fly from trees around us.

"Confused about what?" He whines.

My heart breaks a little at the sound, "Because, you don't like me like that. You can't- we're only friends! But then your lips- God, your _lips_! And your scent- every where!" I blurt our random things that made me run.

"What do you mean "I don't like you like that"?" He asks me and has such a heart broken expression.

"You-we- your- ARGH!" I scream and throw my head into my hands, "We aren't… a couple… you don't think of me like that." I say slowly so I don't aggravate myself.

"Do you like me like that?" He ask with what sounds like a pleading tone.

_YES!! YES!!! Seth, I love you! _The voice in my head says and I'm rather shocked. I haven't ever thought of Seth like that… or maybe I have. Maybe I've been thinking this the whole time and I'm just now realizing it. "Seth…" I don't know what to say.

But I don't have to. He sees it on my face. He hears it in my voice. His eyes dropped. _No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!! _No, Seth. No, I do! I do! Can't you see it?!

I look into his eyes, they look like those of a dead mans. He looks into mine and I plead with him to see. I can still see a spark of the admiration from before, but now he looks like he's died inside. No, Seth, no! You can't think that! He turns to leave and I make the jelly turn to bone and run after him, but he's already a wolf and running.

**Please review, I hoped u enjoyed. Sad I know, but it get's better. But I enjoyed writing it, I hoped u enjoyed reading. Next chapter should be up soooon! Promise!**


	3. I don't want to feel this way

**Okay, I have kept my promise... in turn this chapter is not as long as I like but... oh well I still think it will suit your fancy. I hope u don't murder my story... soo reviews r always welcome. Any and All request and suggestions r welcome (u know as long as u aren't like "Have a giant sponge bob crazed squirlle kill everyone!" of corse)**

**I don't own twiligh: blah blah blah.**

**Enjoy!**

**I don't want to feel this way...I don't want to live without you.**

_No, Seth please don't! _I kick myself for not just saying it. I couldn't though. I could never commit to something like that!

I start to phase and can feel the heat consuming me but I stop before I finish the change.

"_To be hurt. To feel lost._" I pat my pockets franticly searching for my phone. Only one person has that ring tone. I finally find my phone and fish it out of my back pocket as quickly as I can and I press talk. I gasp as I hear his voice.

"I'm sorry." He says in a sad tone.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I ask and then regret it as soon as I do.

"What? It's okay if you run away but not if I do?" His voice rises.

His tone upsets me and I yell back, "It wasn't what you thought! You were wrong!"

"What do you mean?!" His tone drops.

"Seth I can't- You know I can't- Three words!- I haven't even told my mom that in _five years_!" I yell into the phone.

"_What_?!"

"You know I can't say it. I don't- I'm not like you. I can't just tell people how I feel. I'm terrified of it. It's not even like commitment problems it's fear. Absolute _fear_." I can feel myself shaking. "Seth, I didn't say anything because I couldn't." He says nothing. I stop shaking and wipe the tears from my eyes. I hang up so he doesn't hear the gasping sobs.

* * *

"Kait?" I hear Seth call from behind me. I'm curled up in a ball on the ground feeling empty. "Kaitlyn. Are you… okay?" He sounds scared but I can't bring myself to turn around. I feel if I do that I might just fall to pieces.

"No," I say and some how find the strength to sit up. "When you ran, I- I felt so- so… lost."

"I'm sorry." He gets on his knees and speaks to me softly. "I have _never_ wanted to hurt you."

"I don't want to be the person left with the broken heart. I don't want you to ever leave me- I- I-"

"I know. I'm never going to leave you." He tells me. "You can trust me. You can tell me exactly how you feel… when your ready. I promise you forever." He gives a small smile.

I feel weak but hold his gaze, "Seth, you understand that I'm no good for you, right?" I ask not wanting to hear the answer. If he agrees, I can't open myself up just to be hurt. That's why I don't admit to my feeling- all they do it hurt you.

"You're wrong." He says seriously, "Don't ever say that again… please?" He is quite for a moment then, "Let me love you."

"You can't." I tell him

"I can." He disagrees.

"_I_ can't." I tell him.

"You _can_." he counters

"I think you might be wrong." I say quitely

"Let me love you." he begs

We stare at each other for a long time. He's right. I feel a pull in my chest. His eyes search mine looking for something. I stare back. My eyes slowly drift down toward his lips. My own quiver with longing. I pull back and Seth moves forward. He's not letting me get away this time. My back is against a tree and there is no where for me to run to.

"Don't run." He tells me with so much longing in his voice. My breath catches and I lean back against the tree. He moves so that his hands are on both sides of my middle and his face is just above mine. "Please." He wills me to stay.

"Your right." I tell him and close the gap between us.

**I hope u enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (which is soooo very much!) Review PLEASE! :]**


	4. AN

**A/N: I'm very sorry, but I'm going to wait until next week to pick back up on my story. U see I'm REALLY madd at two of my friends right now (which is saying alot... because it takes ALOT to get me upset. I was born without the anger gene or something... but I guess they found it.) and I don't want me being upset to affect the story. Which it will. I'm seriously pissed off and a little hurt. I even tried to finish the chapter I started... it turned into this:**

I'm pushed farther toward the edge.

Lies, ugly lies, they finally take off their mask.

It's awful, the truth, this unattractive thing.

I'd much rather live under the haze,

The impression everything's okay.

But what you know,

You can't just forget.

It isn't that simple,

That fact I regret.

Lies, ugly lies, they push me toward the edge.

And to fall, to simply drift away,

The thought is so tempting.

The cliff is so steep,

But to fall would be so easy.

I take a step back,

Feel the rock crumble beneath my feet.

Lies, ugly lies, they stare me in the face.

The truth is even worse,

Then the wondering, thinking,

Of why everyone seemed so strange.

Because of lies, ugly lies,

The truth they wanted hidden.

Lies, ugly lies, I am pushed toward the edge,

I ask myself, why, why don't they listen?

I try to tell them how,

How lies rip us apart,

But they only stare hunger, another victim am I.

These lies, ugly lies, they beg me to see them,

Them and not the truth, the horrid truth I live in.

But what you know,

Is not easy to forget,

And what you see,

Is not easy to rid.

For lies, ugly lies, they unmask themselves,

And I wish once again I lived in their haze.

**I was really quite scared when I finished that... I had to stop for a while. Good news is (as I said) it takes alot to get me madd, which means I should get over this soon. But just to make sure I don't like kill everyone in the story or anything I'm going to wait awhile. More good news It's snowing. That means no school monday (our school system is a biggg babby!) which means I'll have plently of time to sit down and think. Even more good news (well at least for u guys) since I'm going to be like brain dead the next few days, feel free to leave any ideas u have, or suggestions. I'm truly sry, but I really don't want to ruin the story!**

**Love- Katie**


	5. Men are Dogs

Men are dogs.

_What am I doing?!_ I yell at myself.

I'm in Seth's arms. Curled up in his… bed. I look down- THANK GOD! I still have my pants and shoes and stuff on. But what the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!

"Your up." Seth breaths in my ear.

I get chill bumps. Dammit. "Seth… what happened last night?" I ask him trying not to sound as terrified as I feel.

"I'm not sure…" He smiles, "But you finally let me kiss you." His grin widens.

"I did?" I ask.

"And you joined the pack." He states with a wider grin.

"Oh. My. God." I say slowly, "You did this just so I would join the pack?! I can't! God, I have to be there for Bri! I have to be there when she phases!"

"NO! God, no! No, Kait, I love you." He rubs the tears from my cheek.

"Yes. Of coarse. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm no good for you. I'm broken. Just the way Shaun left me."

Seth flinches at the name _Shaun_. "No, your perfect for me." He smiles.

"You can't fix me." I tell him.

"I don't need to. Your perfect."

Then his grin vanishes, "What do you mean 'I need to be there when she phases'?"

"Bri? She's going to phase soon. I can smell it on her. She smells like wolf lately." I say. Bri is my sister. She was born the month after dad… died. She hasn't phases yet. But she's going to.

"What do you mean? You sure it's not just all the wolves she hangs out with?"

"What do you mean _all the wolves_? She only hangs out with me."

"And me, and Collin, and Paul-"

"PAUL! My little sister has been hanging out with PAUL?!" I scream.

"Shhh," He cradles me in his arms, "I thought you knew."

"_Bri_ is the _chick_ Paul has been _hanging out with_?!" My voice rises again and I pull away from him. "I have to go- God that boy is going to get a piece of my mind!" I jump of Seth's bed. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him. All guys are the same. They're better to be held at a distance. Once you open up to them-

"Don't leave." Seth whines.

"Seth…" I start, "I knew I shouldn't have given in." I shake my head and leave him sitting in his bed with a shocked look.

"Bri…" I walk into the house feeling odd. I'd spent the night at a guys house… again. Last time I did that I came home with a broken heart and a phobia of getting close to anyone. One year ago. It was harmless, or so I thought. It was my sweet sixteen and I almost ruined my life. I wonder why the pack didn't kill me for doing something so stupid. I was stupid, alone, and young.

"Bri!" I yell trying to distract myself. I won't let my younger sister do the same thing as me. I won't let her go down that road. And being with Paul is just the first turn on that road.

I run up to her room and push the door open. Thank God! She's alone. "What, Kait?" She ask me.

"What's up?" I ask. Man, Kait. For someone so smart that was a really stupid thing to say.

"Nothing- hey, weren't you wearing that yesterday? Come to think of it, were did you run off to yesterday?" She spins around in her chair to face me.

"I'm seventeen. It doesn't matter."

She raises her eyebrows, "Where were you?" She ask.

"I was with Seth okay! But that's not what I came to talk to you about. You can't see Paul anymore."

"You and Seth?" She raises her eyebrows up and down.

"It wasn't like that!"

"Did you profess your undying love to him?"

"No! I don't love him! He's just a guy- just like the rest of them!"

"So you just sleep with anyone then?"

"I. Did. Not. Sleep. With. Seth!"

"Then what were you doing… all night… with Seth… Alone?"

I throw my head into my hands. "I did not have sex with Seth. I sleep there yes. With him yes. But I didn't not hook up with Seth last night!" I scream.

"OKAY! Jezz…" She mumbles, "And what do you mean I can't see Paul any more? We're just friends. And there is kinda an age difference." She says like it's oh so obvious.

"Just, stay away from him. Okay?" I don't want my sister hanging out with hormone crazy, angry, lonely, male wolves.

"No, and actually were going to the movies tonight. Maybe you and Seth could come." She says and turns back to the computer.

_To be hurt. To feel lost-_

"That's Seth!" Bri says.

"Oh, I'm _soooo_ going to beast you when you phase." I mumble.

_To be left out in the dark._

"Hello?" I say even though I don't really want to talk to him. But at the same time I do. Something deep inside wants to be back in that bed with him.

"Kait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Can you please come back?"

"Why so you can have another shot at getting in my pants?" As soon as I say it that feeling inside regrets it.

"It wasn't like that! I didn't touch you, unless you wanted me to! I didn't even kiss you until you made the first move." He's right. That is true. But the majority of me doesn't want to believe it.

"That's what Shaun told me. That's what every guy says. You gonna tell me 'I'll be the only one' next?" I slam Bri's door.

"But you are." He whines.

A small part of my heart breaks. The rest is just angry. "Maybe the next girl will believe you when you tell her that." I hang up and my entire heart shatters.


	6. The only thing stopping me

The only thing stopping me is me.

I don't remember falling asleep. I remember running into my room, slamming the door, crying and burying my head in the pillow- I guess sleep was kind of predictable.

I look like a mess though. My eyes are still red and puffy, I'm wearing an old pair of sweat pants, and my hair is everywhere. I run a brush through my hair and go lay on the couch. I curl up into a ball and feel a headache coming on.

_Ding Dong! _Our door bell sounds. I take a deep breath and walk slowly to the door. I don't bother to look through the peep hole- I wouldn't mind being kidnapped and killed by some creeper right now.

_Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair you know._

I pull my phone from my pocket and stare at it.

_Ding Dong! _The door bell sounds again.

_Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do, tonight. _

"Dammit!" I scream and throw open the door. "What the hell do you want?!" I haven't even looked at the person at the door, but I don't want to talk to them.

"Whoa! Chill, it's just me." Jake puts up his hands to show surrender.

"Sorry." I rub the remaining tears from my cheeks.

"Whoa, whoa, what's wrong?" Jake looks concerned.

"I don't- I don't know. I just don't- I don't want to." I say.

"Don't want to what?" Jake lifts my chin so I have to look into his eyes.

"Love- I don't want to love him."

"Who?" Jake get's a protective look in his eyes.

"Seth. I don't want to care about him. I don't want to feel bad when I hurt him. I don't want to _get_ hurt again." I start crying again.

"Oh, Kait, Seth would never hurt you." Jake wraps an arm around me in a brotherly way.

"I don't want to love him…" I sob.

_Tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did ya make it to the milky way to see the lights are fading and that heaven is over rated? Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star-_

My phone rings in my hand but I don't even look at it. I don't move.

Jake takes the phone, "Hello? No, this is Jake. I don't think so, but I'll ask her. Yes I know." He pulls the phone away from his ear, "It's Seth. He says he's been trying to get up with you all morning. He wants to see you. Do you want to talk to him?"

I blink a couple of times, I head feels like a have a hang over. I shake my head no, "Not really, but give me the phone anyway." I take the phone. "Hello?"

"Gezz, I thought you were avoiding me or something. I had to use three different phones to reach you-"

"Seth-"

"Did I say something to upset you-"

"Seth list-"

"I didn't mean to upset you-"

"God dang it Seth!-"

"I've never _ever_ meant to hurt you, ever-"

"SETH!" I scream.

"Ya?"

"Listen to me! I shouldn't have just walked out like that."

"No, you had ever right to."

"You okay now?" Jake ask me. I nod.

"No I didn't. You deserve better than that."

"I wish you would stop saying that."

"Well I ain't a genie so keep on wishing and I'm serious. I'm sorry, but you have to understand I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm not that kind of person."

"You could be though… right?"

"I don't think so. I can't even admit that I love you."

"You love me?"

"I don't know! I can't deal with all of this!"

"Let me help you."

"Last time I 'let' you do something I had an emotional break down!"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be! It's me. It really is. I'm not like you. I can't see the bright side."

"Your not dead." He offers.

"But sometimes I wish I was- and that's the thing, I don't wish that when I'm with you. And I can't stand that. I hate that I have feelings for you. I don't deserve someone as good as you."

"But I _want _to make you happy. I _want _you to be happy. Why can't you want that?"

"Because if I do, I have to admit to feeling, and if I admit to that I open myself up to get hurt."

"I will _never_ hurt you."

"That's what everyone says. It's not something you can control Seth, life happens."

"Please stop pulling away from me." His eyes are so longing. "Let me love you."

I'm silent for a long time. I want him to. I really do. I want to sleep in his arms again, I want to kiss him again, but I don't want to hurt again. "I don't know Seth." I say. "If I break again, I don't think I'll be coming back… ever."

"I won't ever hurt you." His voice is stern, he wants me to believe him so badly.

"I know." I say.

"Please."

In a perfect world this could never happen. To want someone so badly and I'm the only one stopping it. Because of fear of all things. I look into his eyes, dark black circles trace pale gray. I can't forget the things he said, the things he promised, the promises he can't possibly keep. But I'm curious, is it possible? Can he truly keep his promise? The awkward silence is killing me. I cave into that small part of my heart and fall into his arms. "Please don't be a lie." I whisper to myself.


	7. Broken

**Hi! Okay, so I know the name of this chapter sounds soo forlornly (and that is a word) but it isn't. The chapter is kinda short but don't worry, it isn't too much of a rollercoaster. I got the idea from the song "Broken" by lifehouse (and yess it is _life_house.) And also I was trying to think of songs to go with the charcaters, Broken is pefect for Kait, but I still cant think of a song for Seth. It's been KILLING me! I kept flipping through my ipod like a mad ma- I mean women. Ugh, any ideas? Oh sry, I should shut up now- have funn reading.**

Broken.

Someone just promised eternity to me… again. Last time I came home broken and completely useless. But it could be different this time, right? Seth is different. He has to be.

I take a deep breath and pull myself together. I know he wishes he could save me. I know he wont give up, even if it takes forever. Even in this state.

"You know your beautiful, right?" He ask me.

"I look like crap." My eyes are still red, I'm still in sweats, and I feel like crap- surly I must look like it to.

"Your always beautiful." He smiles.

I believe him, "Thank you."

"No problem." He plays with one of my copper colored curls. "I'd do anything for you."

"I know." I say and just like last night I cave into that feeling of needing him. I spin around so I'm facing him. I kiss him tenderly. "But you seriously need to stop quoting _simple plan_. You're not getting any brownie points."

"Really? Well with this get me any?" He deepens the kiss.

"Oh yes." I say between breaths.

"_This cant be the real world now-" _Seth pulls away from me.

"I should probably get that- it's Jake."

"Oh so now I have to compete with the leeches _and_ Jake for your attention?" I tease. I put my hand on his chest to prevent him from getting up.

"_I don't believe it, when I can't see the truth."_

"You know I don't like coming in second." I kiss his cheek.

His breath hitches.

"_Welcome to the real world now, when all our carried in now just to poison you. Am I?"_

"Come on, let me up. It could be important!" He whines.

"_The only one who thinks it's tragic?" _

"Let it go to voice mail." I plead kissing his ear, "For me?" I breath.

His breath hitches again.

"_This cant be the real world now. No oh uh no oh"_

"Okay." He gives in and kisses me back.

The phone stops ringing and it feels nice to have my Seth to myself. Oops! No, not "my Seth." no, I don't feel that way. He loves me yes, I excepted that- but I'm about as capable of loving someone as much as a psychopath is. What I'm I doing here? I don't love-

"No, please no. Not that face again." Seth looks at me with concern.

"What? What face?"

"That one." He points at my face, "You always get that face when your about to leave me." He doesn't look me in the eyes, "Please don't leave." He pleads.

"Seth, my life is just one big mess."

"I wish I could save you." He plays with my hair.

I'm a lie. I do love him.

"You don't know the way it tears me up inside to see you… so… lost." He finally looks me in the eyes. His are so sad. Mine so confused, so… lost. "I wish I could tear the punk to shreds. Just for you."

He didn't need to say the name for my to know he meant Sean.

* * *

You see, Sean was the first guy I ever loved. My first love. A couple years ago my mom sent me to my uncles' because I was so messed up. I was troubled. Or at least that's the word she used.

We had lots of arguments, and I mean lots. It got to the point I memorized the whole freakin' conversation. It goes like this.

I would do something to piss her off, she'd yell at me then the worst part would come.

"Kaitlyn!" she'd yell. Then her voice will get really soft like, and basically emotionless. "Kaitlyn. I don't know what to do with you any more. Nothing seems to work. I ground you, you run away to a friends house." It was usually Seth's but she likes Seth to much to blame him. "What do I need to do to get it through your head?"

She'll go quite like I'm supposed to answer but I know better.

"It seems the more I do for you… the more I do, the more hateful, selfish and greedy you get." Usually here she'd start yelling again (which I don't mind, it's much better then the quite tone.) but this conversation was different.

She pulled out a plane ticket and spoke to it, "I'm sending you to your uncles' house. Maybe they can set you straight. You'll be working on a farm in the middle of no where and attending a school that will notice if you make a break for it." She puts the tickets back and makes a left turn. Our house was on that right turn. "Your bag is in the back and your flight leaves in two hours."

I arrived in North Caroline the next day. I went through an awful phase at that school where I would make out with every guy (well every descent looking guy) I saw. There I meet Shaun. He was an exchange student from somewhere near Forks. He was also the "player of the school" and so I set out to claim the hottest guy in the school. And I did- but I made the mistake of believing his lies and I fell head over heels in love. We went back to Washington together the next year and I slept. I came home a complete mess and Seth had to clean it up.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Seth ask me. He rubs a few tears from my eyes.

"Emotional, that's all." Great excuse Kait. Blame it on PMS. Brilliant… not.

He doesn't try to make me fess up though, he just holds me. "I won't let that happen to you. I'd never do that to you." He tells me.

I believe him. I really hope I'm not making the same mistake twice.

**Oooohhhh! haha I hope yo enjoyed- remember don't be a crazy axe murderer, review (it's the right thing to do.) haha it took me FOREVER to think of Jake's ring tone (it's "Real Word" by THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS!) And the part about "I wish I could save you" well that idea came for the song by SIMPLE PLAN, called "Save you.". But I'm lost when it comes to a song to discribe Seth, I felt "Ocean Avenue" (Well the beginning anyway) would be good, but the guy in the song leaves the girl...**


	8. I prepare to crash a date

**Sooooooo very sry for the late updates.... But THANK YOU to all of u patient people!!! And THANK U SOOOOOO VERY MUCH for your reviews and your favorites and what not. I know this chapter is soooo very short but I haven't been writing lately with all my essays and hw and v-ball and boys and what not. I love you guys! Oh I will try to update more offten... we'll see how long that last. (stupid blonde attention sp-SHINNY!!!) **

**Enjoy...**

**I prepare to crash a werewolf's date.**

I sent all of yesterday at Seth's. Leah wasn't there. His mom was tending to Billy. We were alone. And for once that didn't frighten me. But now, I'm alone again. It's been only a couple hours sense I drove but I miss him already. All that work I did to insure I didn't need anyone down the drain. I wish he was here. But I have to take care of something.

"Bri!" I yell.

No answer.

I pick up my phone and call her cell.

"Yellow?"

"Does your phone have an off button?" Someone says in the background.

"Well sorry I'm popular." Bri mutters. "Hello?" She ask again.

"Bri-" I say.

"Oh, I'm not important enough-"

"Shut up Paul." Bri jokes.

"Bri!" I yell.

"Uhh ohh." Is all she says.

"Bri, I trusted you." I tell her.

"Kai-"

"Just remember my mistakes."

"Ugh, your sisters so over protective." Paul's voice is muffled, and close to the phone, he must be kissing her.

"Bye, Bri." I say and hang up.

"_Half gone, I'm half way gone."_

"Sup?" I flip my phone opened.

"Waz up, crack'a?." Someone tells me.

"What is it?"

"What? No 'hello'?"

"Hi Embry."

"Hi Kait!"

"Now why did you call me?"

"I wanted to tell you…"

"To tell me what?"

"To tell you that if you break Seth's heart I'll break your face."

"Isn't that what the girl's friend is supposed to say?"

"Seth _is_ a girl."

"Hey!"

"Hello!"

"That wasn't a hey, hey. It was a what the f-"

"I thought you were working on your language, Kait..."

"I am I was going to say- never mind. That wasn't nice."

"What?"

"That isn't very nice to call Seth a chick."

"Well it's true. And I'm serious. Just- don't hurt him, okay?"

"You don't have to worry about that."

"I hope so."

The line goes silent.

That was ironic, I think. All this time I have been worrying over Seth hurting me and all this time other's have been worrying over _him_ getting hurt. Very ironic, I'll say. Especially since me and Embry dated once. That was a nasty break up. It was right after Seth started phasing come to think of it. Nasty break up. And bad break up's mean me and my mom argue. And _that_ was a bad fight. The worst part of it was this though.

We'd been yelling at each other for about ten minutes and suddenly we just both go quite. After a minute she looks at me real seriously. "How can you know what pain is? You're too young to know pain. You're too young to know real hurt." She tells me and that really sets me off.

I started shaking and it was a good thing she was too mad to notice. I took a deep breath and spoke just over a whisper. "Ya. Maybe you're right. I don't know pain." I say in a sarcastic tone. "I guess sitting by the phone for hours waiting for someone to call, knowing they won't isn't pain. Crying myself to sleep for hours, because every word they say cuts me worse than the knife that cuts my wrist isn't pain." She flinches as I pulled up my wrist to show her the fresh cuts. "I guess having my heart ripped out and thrown around every day by someone new isn't pain. I suppose waking up alone every morning and going to sleep alone every night isn't pain. I guess you're right. I'm too young to know pain."

And Bri is going to have that same talk with mom if I don't do something.

I pick up my phone.

"Hey, babe." Seth says.

"Isn't it a little early for pet names."

"You _are_ a babe, Kaitlyn."

"I know we girls always say that's demeaning… but thanks. I needed that."

"So…?"

"Oh ya. Sorry. I was going to ask if you want to go to the movies and crash a date."

"Count me in."

**Hope you enjoyed! Please click the little box that says.... "review" and tell meh what u think!!... Please?? Don't be a murderer.**


	9. Bri's dirty little secret

**Okay, sry I've been so... Um, never mind. I can't think of the word. I am sry I haven't been updating as offten as I would like. My deepest apologizes. ANYWAY! THANK U SOOOO MUCH!!!! to all you that clicked the box and decided not to be a murderer of my story. I LOVE u guys (And "Love" is not a word I use offten so u should feel special.) Oh, Idk if I've said this (although u should already know) I don't own Seth... or Paul... or all that is Twilight... or Forks... although I do own SOME forks... Oh, and I don't own Bri. (that would be kinda akward...)**

**Oh ya- sry ENJOY!!!**

Bri's Dirty Little Secret

Seth and I pull into the theater parking and it being such a wonderfully awesome day, we can't find a parking place… anywhere.

"LOOK!" Seth points to a bright red Chevy truck pulling out.

I pull into the park space, conveniently located at the far end of the parking lot.

"What time did the movie start?" Seth ask.

"I have no god… dang. Idea."

"That's helpful."

We then both run like ninjas from the back of the parking lot to the theater, scaring every old person we pasted.

Finally we get to the doors and I realize we have _no idea_ what movie they're watching. Great.

"If I was a psychotic werewolf-"

"You _are_ a psychotic werewolf." Seth corrects me.

"Fine. If I was _Paul_, and on a date with a girl several years younger then me, what movie would I go see?"

"This one. The romantic comedy." He points to some chick and a guy making out.

"Hate gushy movies!"

"You _really_ need to stop hanging out with us guys. It's rubbing off."

"Are you saying I'm not a girl?" I question as we pay for our tickets.

"No. I mean-"

"Last time I checked-"

"I know you're a-"

"And I'm pretty sure-"

"Ticket please." So goofy looking kid ask. I hand him my ticket. "Thank you. To the left."

I turn, "Your _other_ left, Kait." Seth whispers.

"I know. I was… uh… SNACKS!" I run toward the snack booth.

"I thought we were on a mission." Seth reminds me.

"Oh ya. Come on let's go."

It takes all my will power but I manage to peel my eyes away from the Sour Patch Kids, and enter the movie.

"I can't see any- Nevermind." Seth starts. Did I forget to mention our eyes adjust _really_ quickly?

"There." I whisper.

"Whe- ohh!"

We can't really see Bri, but Paul is hard _not_ to see.

"BRI!" I hiss in a loud whisper.

"SHH!" A couple people tell me.

"Oh, suck on it!" I tell them and turn back to an embarrassed Bri. Just a moment ago she had been giggling, but now she was completely silent, as if I couldn't see her.

"Bri." I walk toward her.

"SIT DOWN!" Someone yells.

"FINE!" I yell back and take a seat behind Bri and Paul. Seth glares at a guy staring at me with a smug grin and finally sits beside me. He puts his arm protectively around me. "Bri. What the f-"

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm going to eat you!" Seth tells the guy.

That shuts him up.

"What?" Bri ask innocently.

Okay. What the hell? Does she seriously think I'm going to fall for that? I _taught _her that! "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" Someone new yells.

"I'm going to cannibalize you !" Seth tells the guy.

"Oh." He says confused and then says no more.

"What?" Bri ask again.

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" I yell nodding toward Paul.

"Well I told you we were going to the movies." She says like the answer is so obvious.

"I told you no!" I yell in a whisper.

"Chill out, Kait." Paul warns.

I suppose he can see me starting to shake.

"Seth, please get Paul out of my sight before I do something I'll regret later." I whisper.

"Your not the boss of me!" Be stomps her feet in frustration.

"Bri!"

"Kait! What's wrong with me seeing Paul? We're only friends!"

"That is how it starts!" "I'M NOT LIKE YOU!" She screams… or more like growls. What the hell? Did she seriously growl at me? What. The. Fu- "Why, why can't a see Paul?" She continues.

"You're going to get hurt. You know the song _Cowboy Casanova_? There's your snake."

"I wouldn't call Paul a 'Casanova'-" Seth starts.

"In what way Kait? Hmm, physically or emotionally? 'Cause I can heal fast…" God, she is so pissy! She sounds so- so- so much like _Leah_. She is _never_ this tense. WAIT! Oh. My. God.

Bri starts shaking.

"Bri…" I grab he arm and pull her out of the theater.

She snarls at me and tries to break free but I'm still stronger then her.

I search her eyes for a minute before asking, "How long have you been changing?"

"What do you mean?" She says guardedly.

"How long have you been turning into a big hairy wolf?!" My voice is loud but to fast for the passing humans to understand.

"Like two days. I can't- I get mad- and I-" She growls in frustration.

"I knew it."

"Paul's been helping me. He said there's others- but he never said anything about- how- you?"

"He wants you on Sam's side. He doesn't want any more people in Jake's pack." I mumble to myself. Leah was right. Sam is a back stabbing, no good, dirty rotten, son of a-

"So, you too?"

"Ya."

"How long…?"

"Since I was four. A couple months after dad… died."

"Does mom-"

"HELL NO!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, and you can't tell her!" We both stare at each other for a moment.

"Okay-"

"_Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough_"

"Shit." "_Pain, I like it rough_"

"Mom?" "_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_"

"Yep."

**Cliffy eh? "No", "yes", "you suck go die in a hole Katie"? what's your opinion? Tell meh... please?? Just click...ith... the little box below... please??**

**Well, you can also click the box if you r confused about something... I SHOULD be able to answer any questions you have... And I will try to get back to you as possible (wow... that sounds like my mother's phone...)**

**THANKS,  
Katie!**


	10. Promise

**Okay, this took ALOT of thought, I know it doesn't look like this but I needed help and really wanted to use the idea (by Clumzylil'Pixiegrl10908 {thanks!} btw) and I had to figure out a way to use it, so that idea will actually turn into the next chapter, yay! so that's about half way done, just have to write the rest and it'll be up here too.**

**Thanks to all y'all who've been keeping up, I love u guys! (and I only say the 'L' word when I mean it) so here we go, it's short but, enjoy!  
**

Promise.

After a bunch of lies and a conversation ending in "God mom, what the hell? I hate when you do this to me! I'm almost eighteen, I don't need you!" I feel like crap. "What's wrong with her?" Paul ask.

Idiot.

"What the hell do you think?!" I scream.

"Kait." Bri looks shocked.

"What?!"

"You, your crying. I've never seen you-"

"Dude!" Paul yells with a huge grin. "Wait till-"

I jump to my feet and grab the front of his shirt.

"Oh boy." He says looking down at my lips with a grin.

He bows his head, but I push him back and into the brick wall outside the theater.

"KAIT!" Bri yells.

I drop Paul and turn to her, "Shut the fu-"

I look at her and the words stop mid-sentence.

Her face is the same as the feelings swarming in my gut.

"Get away from him." She tells me.

I look at Paul who's face is streaming with blood. Man, I was _really_ looking forward to a good fight. I was counting on Paul for one. Was.

"I mean it Kait." My little sister commands.

The wolf in me growls at the attempt to be commanded.

"Shut up." I tell her, or rather snarl.

"Ugh." Paul moans at my feet. "That _hurt_. I was _not_ expecting _that_."

Sam's howl rings out across the land.

"Better run along little doggie." I tell Bri with a smug expression.

Bri scowls before running away with Paul at her side.

"You're pretty lucky no one saw that." A voice to my left says.

Seth turns, throwing me behind me and growls.

"Dude, chill." I recognize the sound as Jake.

"Sorry, long day." Seth jokes before first bumping Jake.

"Was that Bri?" Jake ask.

"Ya, and _Paul_." I snarl.

"Are they…?"

"Truthfully? I don't even know. I have my own issues. One of which includes not having a house."

"What happened?"

"I basically told my mom to piss off, and my sister hates me." I roll my eyes as if this is nothing new.

"Well, the Cullen's always have some extra rooms…"

Seth whimpers quietly, thinking I can't hear him.

"Vampires. Eww." I wince.

"Well, you could ask Jared and Kim. God knows they wouldn't mind."

"True."

"Or…" Seth prompts.

"Or…?"

"You could stay at my house again…"

"Again?" Jake scowls at Seth.

Over protective son of a gun. This is what you get for being "the little sister" type friend.

Seth must've forgotten about Jake. His face runs read and he put his arm behind his head. Nervous habit. "Um, well, ya." He mumbles.

"Spit it out boy!" Jake tells him.

"We've uh, we're."

"Oh…"

"Oh?" I ask.

"Ya, um, I'll tell you later." Jake mumbles and walks away.

Another howl pierces the crisp air.

"I think he's waiting for me…" I think aloud.

"But your not…"

"You think I told _him_ that?"

"Oh…"

"Bri and Paul'll tell him soon enough, anyway."

"You don't think you should… maybe you could still…"

"Maybe, I don't know. But why would I?"

"Don't you own him that much?" I can tell Seth is fighting himself. He doesn't want me to go back to Sam, but he doesn't want to rob me of the chance to choose.

"Maybe…"

"I mean, only if you want to…"

"Your right, I should." I finally look him in the eye, "I'll be back as soon as I can. Promise."

**Please review! I love reading them, it makes math class that much bare able (On school weeks I save them and check them then to brighten the class :) ) and it's SPRING BREAK, so I'll be able to respond quickly, and write even faster... Thanks! **

**Ps. I' going on a nine hour bus ride and need a book (from my writting u can probably tell what kinda stuff I'm into) so if any of you guys know a good THICK book, please do tell...**


	11. Whataya want from meh?

**Okay, this was the idea. I just had to figure out a way to get it in here even though... nvrmnd i'll just underline where my friend helped me out. U know to give credit and all...**

**Enjoy!... and review. It isn't attractive to be a psycho ax story murderer.**

Whataya want from meh?

_What do you want Sam? _I ask feeling weird having him back inside my head.

I hear him growl, he knows what I've done.

_How the hell can you just abandon your pack?_ He ask.

_That's not why you called. _I tell him.

_Why the hell is Paul bleeding?! _He suddenly yells.

_We got into a fight, what's the big deal? Stuff like this happens all the time, so what?_

_So, I'm going to tear you to shreds!_ Bri's voice suddenly fills my head.

_What's your problem Bri? It's not like it's the first time._

_You hurt my boyfriend, that's the problem Kait._

I can see her tearing me to shreds in her mind. Ouch.

Wait, boyfriend? I stop mid stride and try to calm myself.

_Oh God, I'm so dead._ Paul mutters.

_No, but your going to wish you were! _I scream and take off at a dead sprint.

_Oh no you don't._ Bri tells me and I can see her coming from the opposite side of Paul. He are both the same distance, but who's faster? _Go ahead Kait, try and get there before I do._

_Oh, your _so_ on! _I scream and my paws barely touch the ground as I propel through the air. About a year ago I figured out that I'm not like the rest of the La Push wolves. No, actually my bloodline came from North Caroline. Where my dad was born and raised. That's probably why I'm so much faster then even Leah. They were built for size, to take down large covens, while my ancestors were smaller and built for speed to take down individuals.

Now I can see Paul. He must have tried to go a different way then Bri when they took off together. She was about 700 meters away, while I was only about 600 feet from his motionless body.

Bri tries to distract and slow me, _Why? Why can't I see him?_

_Why would you _want_ to see him? He's a douche._

I can hear her clamp her jaw shut off to my right, _I love him._

_God, not the 'L' word! _My pace slows but I quickly recover.

We are now both only 400 feet away and I push myself as hard as I can. I jump and lung at Paul but something like a bus nails me in the side. Sam. Great.

_Not fair. I call a rematch. _I yell.

_There will be _no_ fighting. _His alpha tone makes me flinch. _Now, I believe Kaitlyn has something to tell us all…_

_Ya, you're a douche bag. _He snarls and lungs at me. _Aye! I thought you said there would be no fighting. _I say as I side step his lung and he barely dodges a tree. _Now, I don't believe that is why you called this God da-_

_Shut the hell up, Kait! _Sam yells at me.

_He's not your alpha, he's not your alpha, _I chant to myself, forgetting there is no peace in my head.

_What? _Brady and Collin say at the same time in a hurt tone. _Your- your- your leaving?_

_Yes, I already have. I just felt I should tell you all good bye first. _I say.

_I'll miss you, chick'a. _Embry chimes in.

_I'll miss you too, bud. _I tell him sincerely.

_Who's going to tell us not to do stupid stuff? _Collin whines.

_Hopefully you'll just know better then to do stuff like jump off cliffs. _I joke.

_We'll still see you around, right? _Brady worries.

_Ya of coar-_

_What the hell is wrong with all of you?! Your seriously just going to let her leave?! _Sam yells.

_Ya, what the fu-_

_I'll do the hell as I please thank you very much, Paul. _I tell him right before I lung and grab his neck and make a quick jerking motion. Something pops and he goes limp. He's not dead, but he broke his neck. It'll heal soon enough. _So, screw you. I'm leaving. _I tell Sam and run back toward my house. I can feel Bri's anger until the connection breaks and I'm back on Jake's frequency.

_How'd it go? _Seth ask me.

_I just lost the last chance of getting Bri back._ I tell him.

_How so?_ Jake ask.

_I broke her boyfriends neck, and told her alpha to piss off. _

_Go Kait! _Seth cheers.

_Ya, so apparently I'm going to be staying at your house. You sure Sue won't mind? _I ask.

_Mom won't care._

_What about Billy? _

_My dad doesn't give a flip about anything. _Jake chimes in.

_Okay then, it's settled. But what are we going to do about Bri? She wants to kill me. How are the packs possibly going to work together if something goes wrong? I don't know what they want from me. I'm only one person._

**I hope u enjoyed. Please review, any ideas r welcome. and if u want a part in the story... Embry hasn't imprinted... or Brady... or Collin.... any way, please review :)**


	12. A good start to a bad week day 1

**Okay. I'm soooooo sry for not updating sooner (this chapter has been done forEVER) So please read. I'm so sry my internet was done and I could update! ps. Don't own twilight **sob****

A good start to a bad week (day 1)

It's been a week since my incident with Paul. Mom hasn't called. Bri just scowls at me when we pass in the hallways. I have my own draws in Seth's room, which if you think about it is really sweet. Right now we're trying to make wine out of water. He have cereal, no milk, applesauce, mayonnaise and candy corn. How the hell are we supposed to make lunch out of this?

"Dude, if we can actually figure out something to eat out of this… we need to go on survivor or something." Seth says in astonishment.

"More like fear factor." I joke.

"Forget this!" He shouts. "I can't take it any more." He grabs his car keys, "I'll be right back… maybe. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes… don't come after me." His expression is so serious but I can tell he's trying so hard not to laugh.

"Be brave dear knight, be brave" I jump of the counter and give him a tender kiss, "I wish you luck. You have my blessing dear knight."

We both laugh and he walks to the car.

"Don't forget to get some pretzels." I holler at him.

"Yes my dear." He solutes and pulls out, "I shall return fair queen." he shouts out the car window.

Once he's out of sight I double over and start laughing so hard I feel a six pack coming on.

"What's so funny?" Leah ask coming down the stairs with a bag of Lays.

food. "I got," I laugh a little more. "Seth to," I laugh again. "Go to the grocery store." I finally finish and grab a hand full of chips.

"How? I've been trying for years." She gapes at me.

"Leah. We were dying. There was nothing to eat except applesauce, mayo, and stale cereal, oh and candy corn." I tell her.

"But, he's-" Her face suddenly flickers with understanding. "Oh ya."

"What is up with you people of the sudden revolutions?" I say remembering me and Jake's conversation and now this one to top it all off.

"Nothing, Seth will tell you later. But you can't ask. Promise-"

"What?"

"Swear you won't ask!"

"Ummm…"

"Say it!"

I swear.

"Say it out loud!"

"Oh, ya, sorry. I Kaitlyn-"

"Clearwater." Leah says.

My face turns read and hot, "I Kaitlyn Murrauy swear to not ask Seth… whatever it is I'm not supposed to ask him." I smile an uneasy grin.

There is a loud crash outside, a muffled cuss… or three, and the door squeaks open. "I have brought fo- CHIPS?!" He points at Leah's bag and she shoves it behind her back. "You had chips and you didn't tell me?!" He yells.

"I don't have any chips" Leah says with a mouthful making it sound more like "I hunt hove hany hips!"

Seth drops his bags and walks over to Leah pointing his finger as he face, "You, you, your not my sister! Your evil!" He whines.

"Seth…" I warn him.

"I-I- how could you?!" Seth ask her.

"I was hungry!" Leah raises her hands in surrender.

"You know what? No donuts for you." He says and walks away.

"I'm aloud to have donuts right?" I ask him.

"Yes. You can have some of the doughy goodness, but she," He points to Leah, "dare not even look at thy donuts." He says sternly.

"Ah, I miss this Seth." I sigh as he raps his arm around me and puts a donut hole in my mouth.

"What do you mean?" He ask licking chocolate frosting off his fingers, missing and getting it all over his mouth.

"That, you, you being an obnoxious fool. Not all serious" I winkle my nose at the word serious, "I miss you being all happy and relaxed." I smile at him and kiss the frosting off his face.

"I missed you laughing." He says and puts frosting off his finger on my nose.

"Not nice!" I laugh and push his chest. "Whoa, when did you get all buff?" I ask as I touch his hard chest.

"I don't know." He shrugs.

"It's pretty sexy." I muse.

"Ugh, I'm going to puke!" Leah whines.

"There's a trash can in the kitchen." I tell her not even looking at her.

"Your pretty hot yourself." Seth whispers back.

"You two disgust me!" Leah shouts.

I laugh and pull away from Seth. I run my hands through my hair, "I should probably make up with mom." I jump back on to the counter.

"Are you going back home?" Seth worries.

"I don't know… I like it here but… it's my home." I try and reason with my mix feelings.

"Whatever feels right." Seth says with no emotion.

"Seth, I don't mean that-"

"I'm serious, whatever makes you happy."

"Seth, I don't know what's right. What do you think…"

"I think that having you around has been the best thing that's ever happen to me." Seth says not looking at me. "Listen I need to-"

"This can't be the real world now-"

"Hello?" I ask my phone.

Seth hangs his head.

"Something's happen." Jake says.

Me and Seth stare at my phone, the romantic mood broken.

"What? What's happen?" I ask him.

"Leeches. Sam isn't doing anything 'cause he's mad at you." Jake says.

"He's going to risk the whole town safety to prove a point?!" I scream.

"No. He knows we'll deal with it." Seth says deep in thought.

"What do you mean? It's not every day we get some vampires we're actually aloud to eat. Why wouldn't he want a good ol' fight?"

"Oh he does, but he figures we'll get scared and call them up for some help." Jake says.

"Man, he is so wrong… isn't he?" I look at Seth's face which is pale.

"How many?" Seth ask.

"Four-"

"That's great! There's four of us so…one for each. We can totally handle this-"

"Teen. Fourteen."

"Ten… for each?" Seth gasp.

"Afraid so… unless you'd like to apologize, Kait."

My pride wouldn't let the words even be thought, "Never. Not in a million years." I turn from the phone to Seth's shock stricken face, "Call the Cullen's. We're going to need some back up."


	13. A good start to a bad week day 2

**Okay, rather proud of myself not gonna lie. I actually managed to make good on my promise and I have updated the second day on the second night. Anyway, I don't own twilight, and I wish for you to enjoy the story- oh! and review. I like reviews (: they make me smile :)**

**By the way... if your an Edward fan... I DONT' apologize MWWAAAHHHAAAAAHHHAAAAA!**

A good start to a bad week (day 2)

Yesterday was basically spent making deals with the Cullen's all day. So, basically painful for me and Jake. Seth was cutting up and joking with the leeches all day while me and Jake were cursing our predicament. At least he had Nessie. I had to stand in the corner holding my breath while Seth conversed and shared stories. Seriously sucky day. To top it off we still aren't at an agreement. Not even half the Cullen's are willing to fight, the other's don't want anything to do with "a bunch of mangy mutts" or they are in South Africa on another honey moon.

So this is what we have so far: Edward doesn't want Bella fighting, she won't let him fight if she can't, Rosalie thinks we're a waste of time, Emmett is jumping out of his skin wanting to fight, Dr. Carlisle is "for the better" (I don't know what that means exactly), Jasper and Alice are on a honey moon, Esma doesn't really want to have any violence, and then Nessie, well she's for anything that comes out of Jake's mouth. So we have two missing, two for fighting, one unknown, and four not fighting. Great.

That makes six to fourteen. We are so screwed.

"What confuses me is how could there possibly be a colt of _fourteen_ in the area." Dr. Carlisle thought aloud.

"What confuses me is why the hell we're even here if only two of y'all are helping us." I groan. "I mean, it's your guy's land too. Why not help? We don't get a good fight very often."

"Where the hell where you when Victoria was here?!" Rosalie screeches at me.

"What? You seriously think you killed all those newborns on your own? A bunch of inexperienced fighters? I was there. I _did_ help." I tell her with a smug grin.

Rose jerks her head toward Edward in expectation. "She's not lying." Edward says. "She took down five."

"I would appreciate it if you would say out of my head you dirty leech." I growl.

"Don't speak to him like that!" Bella yells at me.

"Wow, you really are like a miniature Jacob." Edward muses.

"What do you mean, leech." I ask.

"First off you call us "leeches", second you can't stand me being in your head-"

"Why should I?!"

"And thirdly, you are too stubborn for your own good." Edward finishes.

I start to shake but calm myself at the last possible second. "If I were you _Edward_, I would watch your mouth, and keep out of my head." I growl.

He smirks at my anger. "I don't know what Seth sees in you." He mumbles under his breath.

I clench my jaw, "I don't see what she," I jerk my head at Bella," Could possibly see in a filthy monster like you. No wonder she fell in love with Jake after you left-"

"Shut. Up." He says through clenched teeth.

"What? Still not gotten over what you put her through?" I ask as I show him the images I'd seen in Jake's head. He flinches from my thoughts. "Say out of my head." I warn him.

"He deserves better then an ungrateful mutt like you." Edward shoots back.

"Watch it." I warn him.

"At least I didn't have sex with some stranger and make him pick up what was left of me." He gives a smug grin.

"Wanna shut the hell up?" I ask in a shaky voice. My whole body is beginning to shake now. "I didn't tell him I didn't love him then leave him in the woods to die." His eyes light on fire. "I didn't try to kill myself 'cause I was a melodramatic little girl who was too weak to deal with pain." I keep pushing him. He flashes his fangs and I let my claws unsheathe. "Don't dish what you can't take." I tell him.

"You don't think I can take this?" He ask, his fangs still insight.

"You want to take this outside, leech?" I ask him.

"I'd love to." He spits.

"EDWARD!" Bella yells.

"Your owner's calling you." I whisper.

Edward growls at me one last time before retracting his fangs and moving back over to his slut of a wife. Edward eyes shoot back to mine. "Stay out of my head." I tell him again.

"What'd she say?" I her Bella worry.

"I called you a slut." I tell her. Suddenly all the vampire's eyes are on me. "What?" I ask them in a stern tone. A low rumble comes from my throat and they go back to what they had been doing. I guess they forgot I wasn't just some human easily dealt with by scowls.

I turn to Seth, "Can we go now? It's apparent they aren't going to be much help."

"Uh, ya. If you wanna go wait in the car I'll be out in a minute…" He pleads with his eyes for me to corporate. Fine, I think. I take the keys as he pulls them out of his back pocket and I walk outside, but I stop outside the door.

"Edward, please. We need your help. I'm asking you as a friend."

"I'm not working with _her._" He replies coldly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Seth ask defensively.

"It means that girl of your's is a spoiled brat and I'm not having anything to do with her."

"You know nothing about her!" Seth yells.

"You can't just judge people by their thoughts, Edward." Jake backs Seth up.

"She's rude, obnoxious, and violent. I'm not helping her."

"She has a right to be!" Seth counters. "You don't know her." Seth says more quietly. "I love her, Edward. Nothing you can say will change that."

"I'm not sure you really know her Seth." Edward said without emotion.

"What do you mean? We've been best friends since pre-k. What is there that I don't already know?" Seth demanded.

"Sure. You know everything she's told you. But you haven't seen the inside of her head, Seth. That is one messed up place." Edward still speaks without emotion.

"She doesn't need to be fixed, Edward. I love her, I know her. You don't. You can't just read a couple thoughts in her head and except to know everything. She isn't like most people. She's more complex then you know." Seth says sternly.

"I agree with Seth, she's not like anyone else I know." Jake sides with Seth.

"Well I didn't appreciate her talking to Edward the way she did." Bella speaks up for Edward.

"Of coarse you don't. For once someone put him in his place- And didn't you hear the things _he _said to _her_?" Jake argues.

"No… what'd he say?" Bella says in a small voice.

"Nothing." Edward says sharply. Douche.

"So are you going to help us or not, Edward?" Seth ask.

Everyone is silent for a moment. I take this as my cue to leave. I walk to the car with raging emotions and sit quietly. Today's going to be a long day, I think to myself. After a few minutes I put the keys in and start the car. It's mid April and hot as fire. The radio comes on in a whisper and I relax as the voices of Cash Cash fill my head instead of the cold voice of the mind reader.

"They said they'll consider our offer." Seth says through the open window.

He looks so tired. So stressed out. I feel awful for him. "I'm sorry Seth. I didn't mean to make things bad it's just- the things he said- I couldn't- he made me so- _mad_." I ramble.

"What exactly did he say?" A fire lights behind Seth's eyes.

"Nothing. Forget it." I turn toward the other window.

Seth opens the driver side door and jumps in. "What did he say, Kait?" Seth pleads.

"Nothing, he just couldn't understand what you could see in me." I shook it off like it was nothing even though his words had hurt. It only confirmed what I've been thinking all along.

"Lots of things." Seth puts his hand on mine. "First off, you're my best friend. Have been since I can remember. Secondly, you do something that makes it impossible not to be happy around you." He smiles, "Thirdly, you're the beastliest person at ninja that I know." I laugh softly. "Fourthly, you know how to think for yourself." He pauses, "How many more do you need? I can go all day."

"Really?" I ask him.

"Yes, really. It'd make no sense _not_ to be with you." He pulls his hand away and wipes away a tear I hadn't even notice sliding down my cheek. "And 'sides, you're cute when you're angry. You should yell at Edward more often." He jokes.

"Thanks Seth, you always know just what to say."

"Everything you want." He jokes. 'Everything you want' is a song we used to listen to by Vertical Horizon.

"I haven't listened to them in forever." I tell him switching topics.

"I have one of their CDs in the console if you want to." He nods toward the console.

"Which one?"

"'Everything You Want' should be in the CD case in there."

"I could live in your car, you know. You have just about everything in here." I joke.

"I wouldn't mind you living with me either." He says only slightly joking.

I put the CD in and flip to 'Everything You Want' then turn to Seth. "I don't know. Like I said, it's my home. I have to go back someday."

"We could get in apartment." Seth suggest.

"Seth… commitment problems, remember?"

All is quite for a minute except for the soft rumble of the car and the words of 'Everything You Want'.

"_He's everything you want. He's everything you need. He's everything in side of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at all the right times, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why."_

"_I_ mean something to you, right?"

"Seth, of coarse. I think you're the only thing that I even care about anymore. You mean _everything_ to me." I confess.

"So… you'll say?"

"I suppose so. At least for little longer."

Seth smiles, "Now we just have to deal with those-"

"Leeches. Those _leeches_." I tell him and we drive into the night.


	14. A good start to a bad week day 3

**Okay, still keeping good on my promise (I'm SERIOUSLY proud of myself no joke, 'cause me and due dates have SERIOUS issues... I'll never survive highschool....) ANYWAY! I hope u enjoy!**

**Also, reviews keep this baby alive (I beg of you, don't be a murderer. It's bad for your soul.) haha that reminds me next time someone tells you that you have "a heart of stone" the best reply is "that's a lie! I have the soul of a small innocent child... in a jar on desk." lol, just some food for thought :)**

**But seriously enjoy and review PLEASE!!!!! :)**

A good start to a bad week (day 3)

Another night was spent at Seth's. Not sleeping though- wait. I didn't it mean it like that. I meant that I didn't sleep. To many things going on in my head. Seth slept. He slept perfectly as a matter of fact. You know he talks in his sleep? Evidently he wanted to ask me to the 8th grade formal, but thought it be to weird. God! That reminds me, ugh, I have to go to school today. This should be interesting. Monday was a teacher work day, but today we have school. Great.

"_I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall._" My phone rings, signaling a text.

"_Argh! God! School, eww. You still need a ride today? I can be at your house in like… five minutes._" I read the text. Gosh, I almost forgot I had asked Sammie for a ride. I don't have a car. I'm supposed to get one soon though. Well at the end of the year.

"_Uh, no. I'm going to ride with Seth, if that's cool with you._" I send back.

"_Seth? Are you to _FINALLY_ going out?!?!_"

I stare at my phone for a minute. "_No, I don't do relationships. Remember?_"

"_To bad. He's a cutie._"

We'd had this talk to many times. "_I thought you liked Embry?_"

"_Oh! I _do_! He's even cuter then Seth… no offense._"

"_Why would that offend me?_"

"_Well because you to are like- never mind._"

"_We. Are. Not. A. Couple._"

"_What ever you say, chick'a._"

"_Shut up now- or I'm telling Embry._"

"_You wouldn't!_"

"_You really want to find out?_"

"_Shutting up._"

At that my heart turned to butterflies. Seth says that whenever Jake ask him to shut up. I smile to myself. "_Ya, well, I'm going to go take a shower to ttyl? I'll see you at school._"

"_See ya, girlie : )_"

"Hmm…" Seth rolls over and his arms find my torso and pull me back into his arms. I laugh at him. He's so cute in his sleep. He looks so, so peaceful. Not stressed out like he was looking yesterday. His biceps flex around me and I find comfort in his strength, as if it could push away all my fears. I turn to look at his face.

His long eyelashes fall over high cheek bones and his blonde bangs fall over seemingly perfectly sculpted eyebrows. One tiny white line runs from his scalp to his temple on the left side of his face from when he first learned to ride his bike. I find it odd, how I've known Seth my entire life, know every scare, every inch of him, and only now do I see the beauty in it. Sure I have thought of him as cute before, sure I have watched him mowing the yard without his shirt on before, but only since the start of this year have I actually felt… romantic feelings toward him. Not love. No, I couldn't possibly love someone. The thought is just absurd. But still, it's different.

I study his sleeping body once more. The way his chest, hard and smooth, rises and falls in the same rhythm as my own. How his lips lay slightly open, whispering something unintelligible every few minutes. How his fingers twitch every so often. His whole body engulfed in his dream. I watch how his abs, not even flexed, are defined and solid. Something he developed as he fell into maturity.

I nuzzle my head under his neck, drinking in his scent. So raw, so wild, just like a wolf. His grip tightens slightly around my torso and pulls me closer to him. I should wake him, it's almost time for school, I think. But that growing part of me that longs for his touch lies motionless. We've still got forty-five minutes before we have to be there. Yes, and it takes only ten minutes to get there. My subconscious decides. But, you've got to shower, and dress. The shrinking, reasonable, part of me thinks.

"Fine." I mutter and remove his arms from my middle. "Seth." I nudge him with my hand. "Wake up."

"Five more minutes, mom." He mumbles.

"Seth. I'm not your mother." I try not to laugh at him.

"Leah?" His voice sounds raw and dry with sleep.

"No, it's not Leah." I tell him.

"Kait?"

"Ya Seth. Now you've got to get up. We've got school." I nudge him.

His eyes open but close again fighting sleep. "Do we have to go?" He whines.

I stifle a laugh, "Ya Seth. We do. As much as I don't want to."

"Why? Can't we just sleep all day? We need our rest if we're going to fight those-" He yawns, "Those… what are we fighting again?"

"Le- Vampires. We're fighting vampires."

"Oh, okay." He yawns again. "Then we should defiantly rest. Rest is good." He yawns once more.

"I wish we could Seth, but there are laws against kids not going to school. And what will we tell Mrs. Godbolt? 'I'm sorry, but we were out defending the village from evil blood thirsty vampires that want to kill you all.'?"

"Ya. Let's go with that." He buries his head in the pillow.

"Okay then… Since your asleep I guess I'll just have to take a shower all alone…" I try to coax him into waking up.

He shots upright, "What were you saying?" He wears a crooked grin.

"Get dressed Romeo, I'm going to take a shower." I throw a shirt at him.

"Ugh, I hate school." He groans. "I hate wearing a shirt!"

"I hate that you guys have to wear shirts too." I sigh stealing one last glance at his incredible eight pack.

"What do you mean 'You guys'?" Seth ask confused.

"What? I'm I not aloud to admire Jake, Collin, or even Embry's abs? Only yours?" I joke.

There's no humor in his eyes, "You, you look at them…?"

"I'm joking Seth! Gezz, your worse then Annabel you oversensitive foul." I smile at him. He finally smiles back and puts the shirt on. "Now I seriously have to take a shower _now_ if we're ever going to be on time." I tell him as I grab a towel and walk into his bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

A folded piece of paper lands on my desk. I unfold it to find the words: _God, I hate history!_ Scribbled on the inside. Seth. I pick up my pencil and write: _Your going to get caught passing this note and I'm going to laugh._ I refold it then grope blindly behind me for the desk that sits there and place it on top what must be Seth's text book.

I hear him pick up his pencil and the paper being folded again. He places it in my hand which is laying palm up behind me. _Would you rather me text you? _

I stifle a laugh. _No, I wouldn't. So what's the reason we are passing notes? It must be important. You always get caught. You'd only risk your status as teacher's pet for something important._ I fold the paper and hand it back to him.

A moment later I have the paper back and read: _You're a good enough reason to get in trouble. Huh, I wonder what Mrs. Godbolt would think if she read this… maybe we should speak in code. Peanut butter is the leading cause of death in Siberian's migrational birds._

_WTC, is that supposed to mean?_ I give him back the note.

_What is WTC supposed to mean?_

_What the creepier. Amani and me made it up. It's a rather confusing "had to be there" story. But ya, I wonder what she'd think of your secret code that not even I understand._

_She'd think I was the most amazing student in the world. I can make up my own language. That's a pretty big advance in teenage American history. _I can almost see him smiling as he wrote this.

_You are soooo weird Seth._ I pass the note back.

Seth begins to speak as he writes, "Me weird? Says the-"

Mrs. Godbolt snatches the note away from Seth and glares at both of us. "What do we have here?" She ask.

"A note, a short written message or informal letter." Seth replies.

"This isn't English Mr. Clearwater." She tells him in a stern voice.

"Ms. Murray-"

"_Murrauy._" I mumble under my breath.

"Fine. Ms. _Murrauy_, do you care to explain to me what this note is about, or shall I read it to the class."

A couple "Oooohhhh" echo through the classroom before I quickly reply. "Not at all. Feel free to read." I give her a warm, yet sarcastic smile.

"Okay then," She clears her throat then starts from the middle, "I wonder what Mrs. Godbolt would think if she read this. Maybe we should speak in… code? Uh, Peanut butter is the… leading cause of… death in… Siberian's migrational… birds?" She stops and looks at both of us with a confused glare before regaining composer and asking me, "What does that mean?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. Apparently he used to chew on his crib." I remember a joke Leah had made about Seth.

"Lead paint?" She ask.

"That's what we all think." I tell her.

She sighs, defeated, and walks back to the front of the room, handing me back the paper.

Sixth period is my favorite. And no, not because it's the last class of the day. I love sixth period because one: English is something I actually understand, two: Mrs. Goldman is the best teacher ever, and thee: Seth's in this class as well.

"We're righting poetry today." She sits on the front table looking at each of us. "This particular poem is about a memory. You've all read the example to… think about it then get to it." She claps her heads together signaling for us to start.

I turn to Seth who sits two desk down from me. He's staring blankly at me before something flickers inside his head and his pencil starts to dance across his page. I look down at my notebook. Empty. The page is blank. I rake my brain for a memory. Poetry's not that hard for me, I used to write it all the time in middle school… but it's always been dark. I try to write about something happy, but usually that thing ends up dead by the end of the last stanza. I sigh.

I look at my pencil and begin to write the only memory that remains clear as glass to me.

_I remember, I remember,_

_A tall house on a mountain,_

_The trees casting shadows upon it's walls._

_A beautiful home._

_And innocent were you and I._

_The house'd seen no violence, _

_No pain… nor had I,_

_Up till that evening,_

_The whole town seemed to cry._

_I remember, I remember,_

_Coming home from church that night,_

_Something was wrong:_

_Our house bore no light._

_We walked in the house,_

_So silent it scared._

_We turned on the lights and called out his name._

_I remember, I remember,_

_The panicked look that you wore,_

_As you called out again, his name once more._

_We made out way to the porch,_

_As if some force pulled us to._

_As the light hit his face,_

_In a shrill cry to cried for me to go to my room._

_But alas, it was too late,_

_For I'd already seen the blank look on his face._

_I remember, I remember,_

_Not much after that,_

_A horrid night mare,_

_One I long to forget._

_But alas, what's known is not easily forgotten,_

_And what seen I can no rid._

_For the death of my father I'll never forget._

For once I am glade she didn't make us read out to the class. I'd share it later- maybe. Perhaps I'd just show her what I've done. A quick glance is all she'll need. It's not that I am ashamed of my father. It's just that I hate the pity filled looks I'd get. I'd hate the silent judging I'd face. People thinking I'm an emo, troubled, suicidal prone, teen. 'Sides. Mom made me go to counseling when I was in elementary school. She thought I was "emotionally unsound". Bunch of bull if you ask me.

"Are you done Katie?" Mrs. Goldman looks over my shoulder with curious eyes.

"Ya, but if you don't mind, I'd rather not share…" I plead with my eyes.

"Might I read this?" She holds my gaze.

"Yes. But please don't share it with the class."

"As you wish my dear." She holds my notebook in both hands and reads each line with knowing eyes. "I like the ending line on the first stanza," She thinks aloud. "Might I at least read the first stanza aloud? It doesn't seem as personal as the rest." I nod.

"You guys that are struggling, listen. Here's a way to start it off." She clears her throat. "_I remember, I remember,_" She looks pointedly at two kids goofing off. "_A tall house on a mountain. The trees casting shadows upon it's walls…A beautiful home… And innocent were you and I- The house'd seen no violence, No pain, nor had I. Up till that evening…The whole town seemed to cry._"

"Who wrote that? Frost?" Someone pipes from the back.

"No, any other guesses?" Mrs. Goldman looks at Seth.

"Poe?" Someone calls from my left.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"A student of yours." It isn't a question.

"Correct Mr. Clearwater." Mrs. Goldman pats his head.

"Who?" Rebecca, our head cheerleader, calls out.

"What does it matter?" Seth shoots back.

"Exactly." Mrs. Goldman agrees. "What does it matter who wrote it? Why is that so important? What difference does knowing the writer make?"

"We could ask them what that means." Another student pipes.

"But that's the beauty of poetry. To decipher. Everyone has their own idea of what the line could mean. Some people might insinuate that the house was abused. That that was the violence the author speaks of. Or someone else might think it was the author who saw violence _inside_ the house. Perhaps domestic violence. While other's might think that what the house witnessed was something different." Mrs. Goldman explained.

"Can you read the rest?" A normally quite girl asks.

"Yes. Please." I will myself to utter the words. As long as you don't tell them who it is by…

"Well then. Perhaps I shall. Where was I?"

"_The whole town seemed to cry_." One of the boys goofing off earlier offers.

"Thank you Braxton." She clears he throat again. "_I remember, I remember,_

_Coming home from church that night,_

_Something was wrong:_

_Our house bore no light._

_We walked in the house,_

_So silent it scared._

_We turned on the lights and called out his name._

_I remember, I remember,_

_The panicked look that you wore,_

_As you called out again, his name once more._

_We made out way to the porch,_

_As if some force pulled us to._

_As the light hit his face,_

_In a shrill cry to cried for me to go to my room._

_But alas, it was too late,_

_For I'd already seen the blank look on his face._

_I remember, I remember,_

_Not much after that,_

_A horrid night mare,_

_One I long to forget._

_But alas, what's known is not easily forgotten,_

_And what seen I can no rid._

_For the death of my father I'll never forget._"

Mrs. Goldman finishes the poem. The whole room is quite.

Finally the quite girl speaks again. "So… his father died in the end. The memory is him finding his dad dead on the families porch?"

"What makes you so certain it is a he?" Mrs. Goldman counters.

"Well, isn't it? I mean the girls in this class- you've read their poetry. I doubt half of them could even _think_ of something this dark." A guy from the back says.

"Either way, gender doesn't matter. The point is the truth, no matter how hard to stomach, makes for great poetry."

"You mean someone's pain makes for great entertainment?" I ask.

"No. I mean to say that it is a good release of emotions and speaks to people. It connects people." I ponder this for a moment. Connection. Something I _don't_ want. The _last_ thing I want. I look at Seth. Or maybe not. "I'll leave this posted to the board incase any of you want to take a closer look later."

I feel a great rush of relief fall over me as I remember I had written this poem from my subconscious and not really my brain. So the hand writing was slanted and curvy, so unlike my normal hand writing. I sit back in my seat as the day comes to an end.

The past few hours have been spent going over battle strategies over Carrabba's carry out. As the day comes to an end I let out a long yawn and climb the stair to Seth's room. Eventually I'll have to go back home. Seth's mom and Billy will be back in a week from their vacation to see an old friend, and I don't really want to explain why her "little boy" is sleeping in the same bed with me. The girl who'd had sex with some guy I barely knew. Although she doesn't ever bring it up, or judge me really for that matter. Either way, it'd still be awkward.

I hear Seth's footsteps on the stairs behind me as he follows me into his room for another half sleep, half lying awake wondering what to do with my life, night.

**Guess what?! There are... 4 more parts left to this chapter thingy... so review if you wish to "make my day" :)**


	15. A good start to a bad week day 4

**I hope u enjoy this- i'm about to be killed if my mother finds out I'm updating this instead of sleeping. With that said- unless u want to this story to end abruptly- I must go, Enjoy and please review. Still keeping good on my promise :)**

A good start to a bad week (day 4)

Surprisingly I did get some sleep last night. Not as much as a mumbling Seth fighting "bed ninjas", but it's an improvement from the night before. I sigh as I look at the sleeping Seth. I hate to wake him. Especially only for school. But alas, "you can't always get what you want" as McJagger would say.

After ten minutes trying to wake Seth up, a five minute shower, two minutes spent either dressing or primping in the mirror, one minute waiting for my poptart to get warm, and ten minutes in a car on the way to school, I arrive at my locker.

"Yo." Sammie calls from the other side of the hall walking toward me. I laugh. Sammie is so… Sammie. The small little girl twirls around her skirt spinning above her knees. "You like?"

"The new skirt or the new tan? I notice you aren't burnt this time. Take my advice on using that thing called… what is it? …'sunscreen'?" I joke.

Her perfectly outlined green eyes go wide, "Is that what that stuff was?" She rolls her eyes at me joke. "Yes. I did. Do you like it? And the skirts new too." She smiles.

"Your tan…" Seth's voice comes from a few feet behind me. "And wearing a… skirt." Seth's eyes turn skeptical, "Who are you and what have you done with Sammie?" He questions.

"She's been… disposed of." Sammie jokes.

Seth finishes getting his book from his locker two down from me. "I'm leaving. This is just to weird." He says in a joking tone.

"Bye Sethy Poo!" Sammie calls after him. Once he rounds the corner she turns back to me. "Date. Him. Now."

"Chill Sammie. And what's with the skirt? Is this all for Tucker?" I change subjects. Tucker is her newest boyfriend.

"For all I care Tucker can kiss my-"

"Tucker can kiss Sammie's what?" Embry materializes from the shadows.

"Whoa, where'd he come from?" Sammie thinks aloud.

"Cause I'm pretty sure there is no PDA in the Hall-o-way."

We all laugh at Embry's light humor.

After a minute I ask, "Are you dumping him?"

"Maybe." Sammie says in a small voice.

Me and Embry stare at her blankly.

"Yes. I am." Sammie confesses.

"Why? Tuck's a great guy." I question.

"Ya, a great guy who was seen kissing Rebecca East."

"He did what now?" Embry almost shouts.

"Maloney Bridge told me on facebook last night." Sammie says in a sad voice. "Oh, Sammie. I'm so sorry you had to find out that way." I sympathize.

"I'm going to eat him." Embry decides and walks away.

"Is he serious?" Sammie ask me, watching Embry hastily walk down the hallway toward Tucker's locker.

"Possibly."

"God he's so hot. I totally dig the chivalry." Sammie sighs.

"You know he likes you right- wait I wasn't supposed to tell you that." I cover my mouth.

"How do you know?" Sammie grabs my arm, jumping up and down. "Tell me!" She commands.

I lower my voice. "It was floating around in his head…" I tell her. Sammie knows my secret. She's Collin's sister. She kinda had to know. Anyway she knows my secret.

"Really?!" She squeals.

"Yes. Now Shhh. He's scared you'll reject him. That's why he hasn't said anything. Ask him to the dance next weekend. He's to scared to ask you." I tell her in a hushed voice.

"God I love werewolves. Thank you soooo much Kait!" She squeals and runs off in the direction Embry had taken.

"You just love medaling in people's lives don't you?" Bri ask me.

"God Bri, give it up. This is for the better, and as for you and Paul… you know I don't even care anymore. Have a werewolf baby with him. Get aids and syphilis. I don't care. Just _don't _come crying to me when he breaks your heart and then your stuck listening to him think about who ever the next girl is for the rest of your life."

"I don't think that will be a problem. Does the word _imprint_ ring any bells?" She asks me.

"Oh… no." I gasp.

"But it's true." She flashes a promise bracelet, not unlike the one Nessie always wears. Disgust washes over me. How could he do something like that? Promise her forever… Paul can never give her that. Not the flighty, self-absorbed Paul I've grown up with. I slam my locker and walk away from the smug child toward Seth's first period. I stand at the door, not making a sound, and pull out my phone.

_Look at the door._ I hit send and watch him make a small movement with his left hand and bow his head. His head slowly turns toward the door with a confused look. Understanding crosses his face when I catch his eye and his hand raises. The teacher walks over, he speaks and she nods to whatever he asked. He then stands, grabs a pass, and walks into the hall. He moves away from the door, toward me, and gives a questioning look. "What's wrong. You haven't call me out of class in forever."

"Bri."

"What about her? Is she okay?"

"Perfectly. Apparently Paul _imprinted _on her." I growl.

Seth's eyes grow wide at the word, but he regains his composer. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know!" I stage whisper. "I don't know. I don't want her to get hurt… But being around her infuriates me. And he's a-"

"Kait. Maybe we should let this run it's coarse…" Seth offers.

I grasp for a response but come up short. My throat aches with an unfamiliar feeling. Seth wraps me in a hug and I begin to sob into his shoulder. "I don't want her to end up as screwed up as I am. So-"

"You are _not_ screwed up." Seth growls holding me at arms length so he can look into my eyes. "Your are not screwed up." He repeats softer.

"How can you be so sure?" I ask. "How can you honestly think I'm not screwed up?" I think aloud, tears streaming down my face.

"I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am not in love with a screwed up person."

"Then there is no way in hell I'm the one your in love with." I joke, but it hurts.

"But I am." Seth pulls me back into his chest. "Hey, let's get out of here." He whispers in my ear. We walk down the hall and out a the door to Seth's car.

"Where are we going." I ask after a few minutes of driving.

"I don't know. You have anywhere in mind?" He ask.

"Can we just go home?" I beg.

"Sure." He rubs my back with his that isn't driving.

To take my mind off my sister I throw myself into battle strategies.

"When did the pixie say they'll be here?" I ask in a tired voice.

"They'll be here in three days." Seth puts a cup of coffee in front of me. "Drink."

I take a sip of the hot coffee. "Are they going to help us?"

"I don't know. Bella doesn't want Edward to fight- he doesn't want Bella to fight. Alice can only see what's happening and tell us over the phone, and Emmett's the only person in the house currently willing to fight- well except for Nessie."

"So nothing new on their part?" I ask.

"Pretty much."

I sigh, "Great."

"_I've been sitting here-_" I slid my phone open.

"Sammie?" Seth ask me.

"Ya." I answer opening the text.

"_Where the hell are you, chick'a?_"

"_Home. I left._" I send.

My phone vibrates: "_Try again. I'm at your house._"

"_Sorry. Seth's house._" I hit send.

"_You just called Seth's house "home" shug._" My phone vibrates again. "_I'm coming over. Does Seth mind?_"

"You mind if-"

"No."

"No you don't mind or no you don't want Sammie over?" I ask.

"I don't mind." Seth smiles playing with my hair.

I pick up my phone, "_No prob-_"

"_Ding Dong_" I press end and slide the phone back in my pocket.

"Her and Alice should hang out." Seth comments stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth, "They're both small, spastic, and can see the future." He gives a smile and opens the door.

"Oh, be nice." I joke tossing a throw pillow at him.

"We aren't even dating and you're already abusing me?" He jokes as he twist the knob.

Sammie comes bouncing in.

"Okay. I take that back. You are so right." I tell Seth.

"Chill out!" Seth yells placing his hands on her small shoulders and pressing down. "Calm down. Why are you so spastic?"

"I broke up with Tucker." She squels.

"Poor boy, what'd be do to deserve that?" Seth ask.

"Nothing! He did nothing! My plan worked!" Sammie starts jumping up and down again.

"I thought he-"

"No! He didn't! I lied, and it _worked_!"

"What is she talking about?-"

"He was going to _beat Tucker up_!"

"Oh-Gezz. Didn't think about that… Still! It worked!"

"Wait!" We all pause. "What worked?!" Seth yells.

"Embry likes Sa-"

"ME! Embry likes _me_! He was going to eat Tucker just because I told him that Tucker cheated on me!"

"What if he actually _hurts_ Tuck?!" Seth worries.

"Oh, maybe I should call him…" Sammie mumbles and walks out of the house.

"I don't understand girls." Seth thinks aloud.

"I don't think it's girls- just Sammie." I tell him patting his arm.

"So… Her and Embry?" Seth looks at me with a small grin.

"I have all the pack gossip my friend." I joke with a smile.

"Speaking of pack drama, what exactly are we doing? It's five o'clock Wednesday, they're getting here next Sunday, Kait." Seth searches my face for something before giving up and playing with his phone again.

I take a deep breath, "Give me that thing." I take the phone from him. "God, Jake _so _owns me for this…" I mumble before hitting call on.

"Seth?" Edward ask.

"I thought you were a mind reader." I pause, remembering my mission: Don't piss off the leeches. "Edward, will you _please_ help us?" I ask.


	16. A good start to a bad week day 5

**Okay, terribly sorry I'm so late. I'm sick and writing hasn't been on my to-do-list. Anyway, I apologize, please enjoy. **

**Ps. THE WEEK'S ALMOST OVER! Two more days left!**

A Good Start to a bad Week (day 5)

Okay, yesterday sucked balls. Embry has ISS (In school suspension) for beating up poor ol' Tucker, I had to ask a vampire for help, and worst of all: I woke up half dressed. Last night must of ended badly…

"Hey, your up." Seth smiles at me, shirtless. Great…

"What the hell happened last night?" I ask him.

"Well you downed three beers after calling Edward and then you… I don't even really know."

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I ask a little scared.

"Oh, late night meeting."

"Why don't I remember any of this?" I ask rubbing my head.

"You were drunk out of your mind." He smiles but it's weary. He passes me two Advil and a cup of water. "You feel okay?" He ask.

"I- you seriously let me get _drunk_?" I ask him. "Then you let me go to a _meeting_… _drunk_?"

"Ya…" He looked at me, "Oh God. You thought we- Oh Kait… I'd never- not without your-"

"Seth… just be quite, please." I can see the hurt on his face but I'm likely to cry if he doesn't quite apologizing. "So that's why I'm half dressed?" I ask after a minute of silence.

He nods. "Ya." He stares off into space for a moment. "I'm not Shaun." He finally decides.

"I know that-"

"You still love him though…"

"No-" I start.

"You probably still have his number in your phone." Seth still wont look at me.

"I-"

"Of coarse you do. I bet his ring tone is something like "That's what you get" by Paramour." He looks at me. "I'm right aren't I?"

"No, it's "The boys you do" by The Summer Set." I say in a small voice.

"Why? Just 'cause you can't forget the monster in your bed doesn't mean have to remind yourself about him." I open my mouth but nothing comes out. He's right. "So why? What are you excepting- or hoping to happen?"

"I used to think he'd come back…" I confess. "I thought that if I… he'd never leave… but he- I. I was wrong…"

"No, he was wrong." Seth's face softens. "I'm sorry. I should have brought that up."

"Your song would be 'Check Yes Juliet' by We the Kings." I tell him only have aware of what I'm saying. I lie down on the bed. "I'm sorry, too. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"God Dang it Kait! Nothing is wrong with you!" Seth yells at me.

"Seth," I start. He looks like he's about to cry and I reach out with my hand to comfort him but he turns and walks out the door. I guess I deserve this.

I lie still for a few minutes. I'm afraid to get up, I'm so hung over…

The door squeaks open, "Look, I'm sorry but- I hate it when you say that. Just because one guy- you don't have to- I- I think your perfect if such a thing exist. I just wish you'd quit cutting yourself down. So one ass hole screwed up, that's his loss." Seth stares at his shoes. "I just want you to know I'd never do _anything_ to hurt you- I don't care if you say it's something I can't control- I'm gonna sure as hell try. I love you more than anything, and I want this to work more then I've ever wanted anything." He's quite for a minute before adding, "You believe me, don't you?"

"Seth, I believe you. I know you love me. I know you'd never hurt me intentionally-"

"Never. I'd never hurt you, intentionally or not."

"I know. But, I'm not ready for a relationship. I doubt I'll ever be. I'm just not that kind of person, Seth."

"Can we at least try?" Seth looks into my eyes. His blue eyes mending my broken heart for those few seconds. "Please?"

"Seth…"

"Kait, please." He moves closer and I stand. "Please…"

Soon he's standing in front of me and he places his hands on my shoulders and searches my eyes. I don't know what he's looking for but after a minute he must have found something because I feel his lips, soft and gentle, against mine. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. I don't know if it just all the stress or if I'm hoping to find some sort of relief but I press myself close to him and deepen the kiss. Seth response and wraps his arms around my waist. I shuffle backward, caught up in the moment, toward the bed and lean back.

Seth places his hands on either side of my head and pulls away from the kiss, "Kait, are you sure?" He ask. I nod pulling his head back down to mine. He pulls away again, "Kaitlyn, are you positive?" I pull him back toward me. "Kait, I can't." He pushes his self away and leans his head against the wall. "I can't…"

I try and steady my heavy breathing. "Why… why not?" I ask panting.

"Kait… not now. Not with everything going on… your going to regret it. I don't want you to regret me." Seth meets my eyes with longing and pulls his gaze away.

"Seth…" I sit up.

"No… Kait. My self control… I don't think I can…" Seth closes his eyes and takes deep even breaths. "I was this close to not being able to pull away, I can't Kait. Please don't ask me too." He keeps his eyes closed, "I don't want to mess things up with you. Having sex… I, I- I'm a guy Kait… my will power is only so strong. You can't do that and expect me to be able to pull away ever time."

"I wasn't expecting you to pull away." I confess in a small voice. "I- some part of me- wanted- all along- for you to…"

"Kait, I love you too much to risk anything on that chance. Please, just-"

"_I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh, well I guess we're gonna find out. Let's see how far we've come. Let's see how far we've come._"

"You should get that, it's Edward." I tell him turning away. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll see you down stairs in a few minutes…" I tell Seth and start rummaging through the draw Seth set aside for me, but there's not really anything in there.

"Here." Seth tosses me one of his t-shirts.

"Thanks, I'm gonna go borrow a pair of Leah's shorts." I walk out as Seth presses talk.

"Ya?" He ask.

"Seth, meeting in two hours, same spot as last time. We've only got two days to prepare." I hear Edward say over the phone.

"Okay, see you then." Seth tells him.

"Wait. Is… Kaitlyn going to be there?" Edward ask in an uncertain tone.

"What are you getting at?" Seth ask.

"Is she coming?" Edward ask.

"Ya, she is. I hope your okay with that."

"I don't think that's such a good-"

"Goodbye Edward." Seth shuts his phone and plops down on the bed. I quickly pull on Seth's shirt and a pair of Leah's shorts. I pull Seth's shirt to my face and inhale. God, it smells just like him. I walk back into the room and give Seth a smile to try and loosen the tension.

"What exactly did I do to piss Edward off so much?" I ask with a hint of humor in my tone.

"Truthfully? I have no idea. I just think he's being over protective."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember when Victoria came?"

"Ya, the ginger with the cute sidekick?"

"Cute sidekick…? Kait! That guy tried to _kill_ me!" Seth gapes at me.

"I'm joking. Vampires are icky." I wrinkle my nose in mock horror.

"Uh huh." Seth rolls his eyes. "Anyway, during that fight me and Edward fought side by side, we kept each other alive. We kind of forged a bond. He thinks of me kinda like a little brother- I suppose he's just being over protective, you know, being a dad and all."

"Ya, that's not creepy at all Seth." I tell him in a joking manner.

"Whatever." Seth smiles at me finally, "Anyway, he says were having a meeting in an hour just to freshen up our skills." He says.

"Can't we just eat all the rogues and be done with it?" I whine.

"Actually there might not even be a fight. As long as they stay away from Forks and Port Angelas then we'll just let them go."

"But I want to kick some vampire ass!" I yell.

"Well I bet Emmett will be happy to have a boxing match with you _after_ this thing is over." Seth pauses, "On second thought I'm not to fond of the idea of you rolling on the ground with an attractive guy without a shirt on."

"Unless it's you?"

"Lookie there, you're catching on!" Seth jokes before hopping off the bed then helping me to my feet. "So, you wanna resell?" He raises his eyebrows.

"You're so going do tonight blonde." I tease him.

"Hey, your blonde too." He calls after me as I start toward the door.

"Hello, love birds." Leah greets us and we come down the stairs. "Is my brother still a virgin?" She ask.

"You're a virgin?" I ask Seth surprised. "But you and that Monica chick…"

"Yes, Kait. Are all 18 year old guys supposed to have slept with someone?" He ask me.

"Well sorry, but almost all the guys I know, Brady, Collin, Embry-"

"I get it! Everyone in this house has slept with someone, except for me."

"I was just asking cause you too have been up there for-" I punch Leah's arm "OW!"

"Wanna shut up?" I ask.

"I just- are those my shorts? They look really hot on you. You should keep them."

I turn around to find Seth giving me a double take, "Defiantly keep those."

"Are we going or not? We've got like thirty minutes." I change subjects feeling subconscious. It's not like I'm gorgeous or anything. I mean, sure I have long legs, I have a decent tan and tussled blonde hair framing a heart shaped face. But I'm not gorgeous, although the way Seth's looking at me right now… if Leah weren't here I'd be tempted to go back upstairs…

"Seth, you do realize her eyes are _not_ down there, right?" Leah ask.

I bite my lip and smile to myself. I could get used to having Seth look at me like that. "Ya, were going." Seth looks at me as he talks to Leah. "You ready?"

"Ya, let me just grab the keys." Leah leaves the room and Seth sweeps me up in his arms. "I'm taking you out tonight." He whispers in my ear.

"Kay, all ready- Wow, can you two _please _cut that out? I mean seriously get a room or something!"

"Leah, we weren't even kissing." I blush deep red.

"Yet." She throws behind her shoulder as we walk out the door.

"She's just jealous you look better in her shorts." Seth whispers to me.

"I heard that!"

"Uh oh." Seth says in mock surprise.

"Okay, we are all gathered here to day to-"

"Emmett! We're training, not marring people." Jake jokes.

"Silence! Focus people! This is serious!"

"Of corse Daddy." Nessie tells him. "We're listening."

"Ya Daddy." Jake pipes in.

"Shut up Jacob!" Edward screams stomping his feet. "Focus people!"

"Aw, don't throw a fit Eddie." I chime in.

Seth nudges my side, "Not too far, Kait."

Suddenly Bella looks over at me, "Hey denim underwear, Shut the hell up."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I open my eyes and smile at Bella. I don't say and ignore her completely. I can tell just from her tone, she was hoping for a fight. I smile to myself, knowing I won the war. I turn to Seth after a minute while Edward drones on about the importance of being careful around the vampires. "Seth, when can we leave?" I ask him in a desperate tone.

"We're about to start practicing, can you make it for like twenty more minutes?" He ask me.

"It appears I'm going to have to."

"Hey, thanks for coming. I know you don't like vampires, even the Cullen's."

"No, I don't like vampires. And actually I don't mind the small perky one, the big guy, the southerner, Nessie, the mom like lady, or the doctor. Just everyone else."

"Fair enough." Seth shrugs. "At least your trying."

"Okay! Everyone grab a partner. Preferably a vampire to a… ya. Okay, let's get started." Edward orders. Nessie smiles at Jake and they pair up. Seth and Edward get ready to practice. Leah and Emmett pair up and I'm left with Bella. Oh joy.

"Dude, I'm just as unhappy about-"

"Don't talk to me." She says.

"Gezz, what is your problem?" I ask her.

"Nothing." She snaps. "Just, go change or something."

"Fine. Be that way." I mumble before jumping behind the car next to Leah. The guys just stripped there.

"Okay, now we're going to practice some maneuvers that are most commonly used by inexperienced fighters." Edward tells us.

Me and Bella face each other. "I'll go easy on you." She smirks.

_I would be so sure, kid._ I think pinning her under me in the first few seconds.

The rest of the hour goes pretty much the same. Me beating Bella twelve to zero. After everyone was satisfied and Bella all but gave up on beating me, we phase back and Seth walks over to me with a big grin. "Wasn't that bad was it?" He ask in a playful tone.

"I guess not. I do enjoy fighting." I joke with him.

"Okay well I'm going to take you out to dinner, then I guess were going back home?" He says wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Home sounds nice, food sounds great." I tell him leaning my head on his shoulder. "I'm _so_ tired."

"You want to get to-go?"

"Do you?"

"Ya, kinda. I'm burnt out, too. I just want to eat and go to bed."

"I'm gonna go over to Brad's." Leah calls from no where. Brad is Leah's new boyfriend. Not imprint or anything, but she's finally gotten over Sam, and Brad's a great guy she went at a summer job last year.

"Kay, we'll see you at the house- or not. Whatever." Seth calls after her as she starts off in the opposite direction. "Where do you want to get food from?"

"It doesn't matter to me." I tell him as I jump in the car.

"King's it is!" Seth smiles. King's was always our favorite place to eat as kids. It's not a real fancy place, but it isn't real low class either. It's just… King's. You'd have to go to understand. "The usual?" Seth ask me as we start toward the restaurant.

"You know me to well." I tell him.

About ten minutes down the road I fall asleep. Seth carries my inside when we get to the house and takes off my shoes before putting me on the bed. "You hungry?" He ask me even though I'm only half awake.

"Not really…" I mumble crawling over to his side and nudging my way under his arm. I rest my head on his chest. "I'm" I yawn. "Too, tired." I fight to keep my eyes open but eventually loose and fall into the comfort sleep promises. I feel Seth's hand rub my head and push the hair out of my face and I press myself closer to him. He kisses the top of my head. "Good night, love."

**Hoped you enjoyed and.... Please REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!**

**-Katie :)**


	17. A good start to a bad week day 6 p1

**Alrighty. I apologize for those of you who are looking at the chapter name going "Part one… whaaa…?" But I just HAD to split this into two parts… you'll see why once you read the last line- NO PEAKING!!!- Anyway, I hope you enjoy. 'Cause I'm supposed to be asleep right now… EOGs and all are tomorrow… ANYWAY I do hope you enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW. I hate story murderers… they make me wanna cry… **

**Ya… okay… well I don't own Twilight… for some reason Santa never gets all the things on my wish list. He always forgets "the rights to Twilight" and "Really hot blonde werewolf named Seth." I don't know why…**

ENJOY!

A good start to a bad week (day 6) PART ONE

I wake up to a buzzing sound then "_This is how we live, this is how we live. Ripped jeans and all. This is how we live, this is what we live for._"

"Ugh!" I groan stuffing the phone under my pillow. "Go away, Bri!" I yell into the pillow. There's a groan from my left as Seth stirs awake. "Go back to sleep Seth, it's only…" I check the clock. "Seven." I ruffle his hair before kissing his cheek. "Just go back to sleep."

"You should answer that." He says not fully awake. "It's not smart to fight with your siblings." He tells me with a half-hearted smile. "Go ahead. Answer the blasted thing. We're both already up."

"Fine. But you owe me if I get fussed out."

"Maybe she just wants to talk." He offers.

"You do realize we're talking about Bri right?" I ask him as I open my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey."

We're both quite for a minute. "look, it was stupid of me to say those things to you. I didn't mean it. I was just pissed because… I don't even know. I've just been pissed a lot lately. Is that normal?"

"Yes. Very." I tell her.

"Well, I don't really know what I'm expecting. I know you're not coming back to the pack."

"What do you mean _the_ pack? You say that like it's a them vs. us situation."

"I mean that- I don't mean anything I just… I thought you should know I didn't mean half the stuff I said. You're my sister and I love you."

"But?"

"But I also love Paul. He- he's changed. He's sweet. I like him, Kait. I like him a lot. I want you to respect that." She tells me in an even tone.

"Aye, it's none of my business. You do what you wish." I tell her.

"I just- do you love Seth?" I gape at my phone. I stand up and walk out in the hall where Seth can't hear me. "Kait?"

"Ya?" I ask.

"Do you love Seth? I've seen the way he looks at you… and…"

"And what?" I ask confused.

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I even know what love _is_."

"You are the only person I know scared of a principal. I mean, it's an emotion. How can you be so frightened by it, Kait?" She prods.

"No. I guess I don't then. I'm not scared. I'm not scared of anything, Bri." I lie.

"You love him. You do."

"No I don't. I don't love anyone. Love is a sick idea that just gets people hurt." I tell her.

"What about me?" She ask.

"You're my sister. I care about you…" I don't know how to finish my sentence.

"But you're a scared little girl when it comes to commitment." She counters.

"I'm not scared, Bri. I'm just- I don't confide in people. Does that make me scared?" I ask her, my temper rising.

"I'm not trying to piss you off, I'm just sayin'- I'm just sayin' that that boy cares about you. _I _care about you. I just want you to know your treading in dangerous waters if you don't care about him-"

"I _do_ care about Seth." I growl.

"If you don't care about him _the same way _he does about you… things can't end well Kait."

"What do you know about relationships?" I ask her.

"I've learned through other's mistakes. Maybe you should learn too?"

"I've got everything under control, and hey, you've got enough to deal with." I say in an easy tone. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine." I pause for a second, "Look, Bri, I'm sorry about before. We could've handled that better… being a werewolf just makes things complicated. I shouldn't have pissed you off like that. I don't care who you date, werewolf or not. If you say Paul's changed… I believe you. And tell mom I'm fine. If she needs me she can call, I don't know when I'll be back…"

"Okay."

"And Bri?"

"Ya?"

"Good luck." I tell her.

"With what?"

"You'll figure it out later." I smile to myself.

"Whatever you say, Kaitlyn. I'll see you later."

"Same." With that I hang up and walk back into Seth's room. "One problem down. Now I'll I have left is vampires, and there's no way they can be more difficult then a PMSing teenage werewolf." I give him an easy grin feeling all of the stress from earlier this week melt away.

"Did you mean what you said?" Seth ask solemnly.

"What do you mean?" I give a crooked grin as I climb back onto the bed.

"That you don't love me. And it's not because you're scared." He meets my eyes and his normally shinning blue eyes are empty. I've only seen that look about two other time. Both were my doing. They both followed me saying something pertaining to our future. Where we stand.

"Seth, I didn't-"

"Yes or no, Kaitlyn?" He ask his voice emotionless.

"Seth, I care about you…"

"Am I wasting my time?" He ask in a quite voice.

"Seth…"

"Don't say my name like that." He begs.

"Like what?" I snap.

"Like you pity me." He jerks his head back at me and stares at my eyes. After a minutes he slowly turns away and looks out his bedroom window. "I need to tell you something." He pauses. "But, I don't want it to effect your answer. So please tell me. Yes or no?" He looks at me again.

"I'm not good for you." I tell him.

"That wasn't an answer choice." He replies.

"I know that. Seth, I care about you- more then I've ever cared about anything in my entire life-"

"But?"

"But, I care. And that's the problem. I care too much to allow myself to feel the way that I want to, because I know that I'll hurt you. I've been lying to myself. I keep telling myself, and you, that you're going to hurt me. But the truth is, I'm going to end up hurting you, Seth."

"Oh Kait, you could never hurt me." Seth says softly.

"But I already have. Like just now, and that day in the woods. I can cut you deeper then you've ever been hurt, Seth. I can- and probably will- say things that will do just that. You need someone who is stable. Someone you can depend on- I can never be that person Seth. I'm afraid, I'm too self-absorbed to truly care about anyone enough to not hurt them."

"Kait. You wouldn't hurt me though." He gives me a sheepish grin.

"How do you know that? I've torn my family apart just to escape my own problems. What if me and you get into a fight? I run from conflict. I'm only gonna break your heart, Seth."

"Exactly. Your _only_ gonna break my heart. Because _only_ you have my heart. No one else can hurt me the way you can, because no one else can make me feel the way you do. Kaitlyn Murrauy, you are the only person in the world that I've ever felt this way about, and you are the only person I'll ever love the way I love you."

"What are you trying to say, Seth?" I ask in a desperate attempt to get a hold on the situation before the words in my throat come out my mouth.

"I love you. I know they say people as young as us can't feel love. We can't tell strong emotions from hormones… but I can remember the exact second I fell for you."

"And when was that?" I ask breathless. _NO KAIT! NO! _The voice inside my head screams. _If he tells you, there's no going back. You're done for. You're his and you know it. You're two seconds from saying I love you_…

"You were-"

"_This can't be the real world now._"

Me and Seth both stare at the phone. Jake. "Something's wrong. He wouldn't call at seven just to ask 'what's up?'." I tell Seth.

"You're right." Seth says sounding beaten.

"_I don't believe it_-"

"Hello?" Seth ask looking _really_ pissed off. "This _better_ be important Jake." Seth growls.

"Why were you two having sex or something?" Jake ask sounding just as pissed off as Seth- if that's even possible.

"No we were not having sex. Now what the hell are you calling about at seven in the morning?" Seth gets off the bed and starts pacing.

"There was a killing in Los Angeles. The clans ahead of schedule.


	18. A good start to a bad week day 6 p2

**Okay… trying to right stories and being a procrastinator… is not a good idea. But I try- anyway, here's part two, it's short but I think the last line is so adorable. Okay- well enjoy reading this because… well just because.**

**Thanks for all the reviews- I apologize if I didn't respond to all off them… I promise you I DID read them all- I just didn't have time to respond to all of them. **

**Ps. Thank you to the following: Carol.16, Clumzylil'pixiegrl10908, edwardluv, eeyore-ft-tigger, futurecountrymusicstar, guildam595, jacinda l., kiryuu's wolf, lovebites609, noel ardnek, OTHgirl263, paramoredecoy, PROCRASTINATOR TOMORROW, Retarded Retard -x-, silly people, the-black-and-white-car111, warprototype, .x, lulfyf1, peacechickenlove, robertforlife, rogiesophins, snickerdoodlenessie, trouble4eva, brokenangel16KL, crimsonlaurana, fanpire24, and last but not least, inyournightmares**

**Thank you for reading/reviewing/favoriteing/ alerting. **

**You guys are the absolute BEST!**

A good start to a bad week (day 6) PART TWO

"Seth?" I ask. He's been quite the whole ride. It's really scaring me, his eyes still look empty and I feel like I'm loosing him. Like he's close to snapping. I don't know how to explain how I know this… but I can feel it in my gut. Something's wrong with him and I'm the one causing it.

He just focuses on the road. Fine. If you wont talk to me, I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride. I turn on the radio and with my brilliant karma the first thing that comes from the speakers is "_Stab my back, it's better when I bleed for you. Walk on me, there never was enough to do._" As soon as the words register in my head my hand flies out and turns off the radio. Okay, no radio. I can deal with that. Right? Wrong. Seth turns the radio back on, not even looking at me. Luckily "stab my back" by AAR has ended, but "Top of the world" is on. God, it is All American Rejects day or something? I look at the radio and realize it's an AAR channel. Great.

"_Don't be so greedy. A dollar's a penny to you. When hearts are beating, say what you want 'em to do. Wasting away... I see you. When the top of the world falls on you. Finding a day, don't wanna be you. When the top of the world falls on you._" Okay, I think. I love you Tyson Ritter, you're amazing. I have a huge crush on you and love your music, but please, please, _please_ quit making this harder on me. I beg inside my head. I mean seriously, who doesn't love Tyson, Nick, Mike and Chris? They're great, but not the best when your on the verge of a break up. If that's possible. I mean were we even ever going out? Yes… no? Is it okay to just make out with a guy and stay _just_ friends. Neither of us were drunk… but, can we even go back to normal? And if not… does that mean we're over? No more Seth? Uh-oh.

"Seth." I surprise myself. "Don't. Don't. _Don't._ Do this." I beg him to look at me. "We've been through too much to just go back to before. It's make it break it right now." I tell him.

"Kait. You already made it clear nothing else is gonna happen between us." He finally speaks and I wish it were still quite. His tone- God it's like _ice_. Cold, emotionless.

"Seth. I don't want to live without you. It's like I wasn't alive before last week."

"Then let me love you." He turns to me, his tone breaking into a quiver.

"Seth." I stumble over his name.

"Don't 'Seth' me." His voice is pained. "Please, Kait. Just let me in."

I'm quite for a moment and realize we aren't moving anymore. We're in front of an old building in Los Angeles. I turn back to Seth and something in his eyes just makes me snap and our lips meet. "Go ahead. I'm waiting." I whisper in his ear and he kisses me back. Fiercely. Like I'm air and he's drowning. Although I must be drowning to because I hold to him like he's life. Seth suddenly jerks away and there's a rapping at the door.

"OH MY GOD! SETH'S EATTING THE BLONDE WOLF CHICK'S FACE!" The big one- Emmett?- yells. Oh great God almighty. Why now? Seth blushes deep red and wipes his mouth with his arms. Where the hell did he learn how to kiss?

"Where did you…?" I start to ask not wanting to say the words with Emmett standing right by the car door.

"You. Sixth grade summer. Shelby's thirteenth birthday party. Spin the bottle."

"I don't remember you being so-"

"Amazing?" Finally the corners of his mouth pull of into a crocked grin.

"Aren't you so humble." I roll my eyes.

"What? Am I that bad?" He ask arching an eyebrow.

"No, you are amazing. I was just wondering who taught you." I say sheepishly.

"Are the love birds going to get out of the car?" The big guy ask.

I roll my eyes. "Stupid vampire." I mumble under my breath.

"Ya, we're coming. It's not like we were in the middle of something or anything." Seth tells Emmett as we get out of the car.

"No, I could see you were _defiantly_ doing 'something'." He raises his eyebrows up and down. "When'd you two start going out anyway? I thought Seth here was single."

"About five seconds ago- wait we are…?"

"This morning." I tell Emmett but look at Seth. He gives a breath taking smile and wraps and arm around my waist as we walk toward the others.

"You told her?" Jake's whole face lights up as he spots me and Seth.

"Told me what?" I ask.

"Nothing!" Seth, Jake, Leah, and Edward all say in unison.

I cock my head but don't ask anything. I've learned just because you ask doesn't mean you get an answer. "So what exactly are we doing?" I ask instead of the question on my mind. Like say, what is it Seth wanted to tell me but not effect my choice?

"Sniffing out the trail." Jake says still smiling like an idiot at me and Seth.

"Fun, fun. So, can we please hurry up? I'm _starving_." I ask.

A couple of the vampires give me a confused look. "You were planning on… eating them?" Bella ask looking disgusted.

"Not entirely. I just like chewing on the limbs. It's like a raw hide bone for werewolves." I grin. Vampires are actually pretty tasty.

"Eww." Is all Edward says.

"Ah, let her do whatever she wants. It's not often we get to do this. Everyone should enjoy the moment." Emmett says. He's right.

"Ya, okay. Whatever. Let's just head out. We've got a trail picked up." Edward begins bossing people around.

We started at four and are just now finishing cleaning up at six. We'll the vampires are cleaning up. I'm chewing on some catty vampires arm completely content with life at the moment. The suns setting and Seth is lying beside me. His blue eyes, even as a wolf, shinning in the light.

_Should we be helping_? Seth turns and ask me.

_Eh, I don't want to. Bella's pissed at me 'cause she was loosing her fight and I jumped in to help. Notice I'm the one with the vampire arm and she's the one with a ripped shirt. And Edward's- well he just doesn't like me. _I smile at Seth. _'Least I'm trying to make nice with your leeches._

_Ya, I think Edward's on his mad period. _We both laugh as Edward's head jerks toward us. _IT'S TRUE! _Seth defends himself.

_Aye, I didn't say it. _I give a wolfy grin to the guy burning body parts. _I wish they wouldn't do that. I mean, you could probably make some sort of s-_

_KAIT! Give it up! _Jake mock yells at me as he throws a body into the fire.

I shake the arm in my mouth violently instead of sticking my tongue out. _Fun sucker. _I tell him.

_I'm a dude. I don't suck…_

_Too far, Jakey. _I tell him.

_Don't be a perv Jacob. _Leah chimes in.

Bye this point I'm kind of zoning out and just watching the sun dip behind the trees. _You think there's a party at the end of the world?_ I ask Seth suddenly.

_I don't know… but if there is, will you be my date? _Seth jokes.


	19. A good start to a bad week day 7

**Special thanks once again to Carol.16, Clumzylil'pixiegrl10908, edwardluv, eeyore-ft-tigger, futurecountrymusicstar, guildam595, jacinda l., kiryuu's wolf, lovebites609, noel ardnek, OTHgirl263, paramoredecoy, PROCRASTINATOR TOMORROW, Retarded Retard -x-, silly people, the-black-and-white-car111, warprototype, .x, lulfyf1, peacechickenlove, robertforlife, rogiesophins, snickerdoodlenessie, trouble4eva, brokenangel16KL, crimsonlaurana, fanpire24, inyournightmares and everyone else! I believe this is the end my friends… I think I'm done. I think this is the very last chapter(: Very Very mushy indeed I hope you enjoy(:**

A good start to a bad week day 7

It's 12:00. Me and Seth are alone in his house and I've never wanted anyone more then I want him right now. I can see he's fighting himself. But I can also see the fire burning behind his scared blue eyes. "Look after you" is playing softly from the radio. It's a perfect moment. And in this moment- this exact second in time- I'm happy. There is no Bri, no mom, no step-dad, no Sam. Just me and Seth.

I've realized we aren't friends. I don't think we were ever _just_ friends- and for once, that doesn't bother me. I don't back away. I don't run from him. I actually cave into the idea of him. Him loving me. Of him always being there for me- and I shrink the feet that had separated us seconds ago into inches. I let my wall crumble. I let it burn to the ground. I let Seth in. I kiss him like there's no tomorrow- and perhaps there isn't. I don't know what the future holds and because of that I can't keep pushing him away. I give myself to him.

"Kaitlyn… you don't have to do this." Seth moans against my ear.

"I know that… but I want to." I pant. "I love you Seth."

"I love you too Kait… but there's something I need to tell you."

I pull away from him. We're both breathing heavy with anticipation. "What is it?" I ask shakily.

"It's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to-"

"What is it Seth?" I ask rapping my arms around his neck causing a shiver to roll down his shirtless back.

"I've always loved you. Since we were in third grade. I've never been able to get you off my mind. But when you came back from North Carolina- with your heart broken… something snapped. After seeing you like that- that was the first time I phased… and then when I saw you again…"

"Yes Seth?"

"I imprinted on you."

My heart just kinda stopped. There isn't really any other way to describe it. But the strangest thing is- I didn't run away. I didn't hide. I fell into him. I kissed him like I've never kissed him or anyone else before.

_I woke up alone that morning. It really scared him. Seth had promised he'd always be here last night. I turn over to where he should be it's just empty space. I gave myself to him last night and he walked out on me- he left. He's not here. He's… gone. I stand up and pull on one of his shirts that laying on the desk beside me and a pair of my shorts from a draw. This isn't supposed to be this way. He's supposed to be here._

I wake up panting. Just a dream- I look over and see Seth sleeping. Gosh he's beautiful. He's blonde hair hangs in his face, his plump lips parted slightly. His strong arm draped across me. Him- just Seth himself. There's just something about him. It's like the pureness, and the utter goodness of him radiates from his ever pore.

"Last night was… amazing, Kait." Seth says scaring me with the sudden sound.

"Ya…" I remember how sweet and gentle he was, "It really was."

"I love you so much, Kait." He says slowly like I'm a child. He pulls me closer to him and looks into my eyes like he's searching for something. Then he looks down at my lips then my neck before blushing deep red and looking back up at my eyes. He parted his lips like he was going to say something then stops He looked conflicted. Curious. "Kait…" He starts slowly, "I just want you to know I'm never going to leave you. I'll never be like Sean… you have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you that. How long I've just been head over heels for you. I just need you to know, I love you more then anything- even life itself. And I just can't wait till you get to this spot- when you feel the same way." He smiles a abosolutly breath taking grin and I turn to mush.

I stare at him for a second, speechless, as I watch a tear roll down his cheek. "Seth... I'm already there. I love you so very much… and for once I don't want to be left alone… I don't want you to leave. I need you- for once I need someone who isn't me. I need you like air- I've never even admitted it to myself but the only time I'm even slightly happy is when I'm around you. I can't stand being without you- it's like a living hell, and being with you is heaven... I've been thinking about you as more then a friend more and more lately… and that used to scared me but… I'm in love with you Seth Clearwater." I let the random combinations of syllables roll of my tongue without thought- it just kind of happened. I wipe the tear that still rolls down his cheek away and slowly kiss his lips until I can't even remember my name let alone tell up from down. And I didn't mind… I would spend eternity like this if I could…then again, maybe I will.


End file.
